A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just have a quick question regarding cheating. Is the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" true? I was with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years and was very much in love. He cheated on me (slept with) 4 months into the relationship, with a girl he used to go to school with, and I didn't find out until a year later, after reading an email from her, confessing her "love" for him. I was an absolute mess after I asked him about it, and he confessed to it. We were trying to work things out, he got me a promise ring shortly after, etc, etc. We stayed together for 5 months after I found out about the cheating, and then I decided to break it off because he wasn't making time for me, was going out all the time partying, and all of that lead to me having trust issues with him.We have been apart for 4 months already but have kept in good contact the whole time. Recently, we were hanging out, catching up, when I asked him if he had slept with another woman that I had suspected he had been with, but both of them had denied, while we were still together. He admitted that he had. This happened AFTER he saw how hurt I was with the first incidence of unfaithfulness, and AFTER he gave me a promise ring.He has not "been with" anybody in the 4 months that we have been apart, and claims that he has done a lot of growing up and that not sleeping with anybody while we've been broken up proves that. I know he love me, and I love him very much, but I am afraid that this will happen again when the going gets tough. Thoughts? Thanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Read between the lines. Even you yourself don't really believe he will grow up. And why should he? If you keep taking him back, he has no incentive to stop. Something about having his cake and eating it too...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Why would he grow out of it?
The world is full of adult men and women who have cheated their whole lives and are never going to stop.
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