A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me.he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex.We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no connection. he tells me he cannot feel anything in his heart anymore.and he says "i keep saying give it more time but he will never feel anything for me" WHY?? can someone answer me this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 September 2013):
It sounds to me like you may need some therapy to figure out why you're head over heels for a guy who doesn't give a shit about you.
If you leave him you may find that he comes after you and realizes he cares about you, but you will more likely find that he calls you for sex and, in your needy state, you say yes.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 September 2013):
 I agree with IAHTHY you want HIM... but he said "date others" he does not want you the way you want him to.
I think you should date others but not have sex with ANYONE for a while.
And if you tell him, don't do it in hopes of making him jealous... clearly he does not care.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (28 September 2013):
 If you don't want to date others then don't. Be single for a while and allow yourself to get over this relationship. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with you if he's happy for you to date other people, sorry to say .. you really must let him go. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your input.. I have a question too.. I have been wondering if i should date others or just say I have plans to create space for him to miss me.He said it is ok do date others .. so if I date someone and I think I should be honest and tell him...but I still fear losing him. I, also, do not really want to date anyone else. I want this guy..
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A
female
reader, facethefacts  +, writes (28 September 2013):
 HI - I read your question and wanted to offer my advice. Unfortunately it sounds like you started off on the wrong track, but am not sure whether there is a right one either... some seem to fall into the "sex thing" early on and others wait a bit longer. For me it I don't go by any of these rules as I have found that relationships either work or they don't. I no expert but the advice I would give to you is as follows:You have to do a 180 on him. You need to leave him alone, get away from your mobile and go do something that you enjoy doing. whether that's running, visiting historic places or just hanging out with family and friends for a bit. He probably feels that he knows you really well, the spark has gone and there is no more to discover.Well, he liked you then he can like you again.. You need to be strong, sweet, smile and lEAVE HIM ALONE. Get busy with your life.. Us girls we are strong.. you know him well.. when he finds out from colleagues you are having a fun time without him... just be patient he come back... that's if you want him too. But for now give him what he wants and as much as it hurts you inside.. do it with grace and dignity..Its just my advice... GOOD LUCK, STAY STRONG, BELIEVE!!
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A
female
reader, facethefacts +, writes (28 September 2013):
HI - I read your question and wanted to offer my advice. Unfortunately it sounds like you started off on the wrong track, but am not sure whether there is a right one either... some seem to fall into the "sex thing" early on and others wait a bit longer. For me it I don't go by any of these rules as I have found that relationships either work or they don't. I no expert but the advice I would give to you is as follows:You have to do a 180 on him. You need to leave him alone, get away from your mobile and go do something that you enjoy doing. whether that's running, visiting historic places or just hanging out with family and friends for a bit. He probably feels that he knows you really well, the spark has gone and there is no more to discover.Well, he liked you then he can like you again.. You need to be strong, sweet, smile and lEAVE HIM ALONE. Get busy with your life.. Us girls we are strong.. you know him well.. when he finds out from colleagues you are having a fun time without him... just be patient he come back... that's if you want him too. But for now give him what he wants and as much as it hurts you inside.. do it with grace and dignity..Its just my advice... GOOD LUCK, STAY STRONG, BELIEVE!!
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (17 September 2013):
 Hi, why are you still with him after what he has told you? You entered a relationship as his GF but he sees you as FWB, loose this guy and find someone that has more respect for you and love you.
This is a dead-end and you will get hurt, remember you cannot fault him when he decides to leave the relationship as he has been honest with you that he is not into you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 September 2013):
well the only way to know if he really cares is to stop giving him what he wants.
stop having sex with him
make him treat you like a gf... cause right now all you are is his handy dandy penis holder.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 September 2013):
Because you're not compatible with each other. Stop delaying the inevitable and leave.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (16 September 2013):
Hi OP
No, you can't change him, or his lack of feelings for you, but you can change yourself. You need to realise that you require more than this man can offer you. He's been honest with you about feeling "no connection". That's really all you need to know.
If you want a relationship with mutual love, care, trust and respect (which, of course you do), you'll be better off walking away from this guy and looking for someone else. He's not worth any more of your time.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 September 2013):
 You are wasting your time this is, and will always be, a dead end. Cut bait and move to the next pond.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 IF you think you can run around this subject so fast that you actually go in to a time warp.... wherein everything that you now know about this guy becomes "moot".... then have at it....
You KNOW that he is using you for sex....and has no intention of having a "relationship" with you... so why are you continuing to believe that what is going on between you and this guy is something else??????
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsometimes the thinks out loud and he said Emotions have to stay out of this i did not say anything I just thought HE must be starting to have feelings and reminding himself not to
as he fears love = eventual pain and hurt from cheating women.
Is there any chance that if i tell him goodbye that he might find he really does care and starts dating me?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2013):
In the "Guy's book of things to say and do to keep your girl guessing" there is a chapter about just this subject.
In summary, it sez that the guy must say all the "right things" that will keep you having sex with him, whilest - at the same time - telling you that he REALLY is only "in to" the sex (He "...says he feels no connection to me...") such that he's not REALLY lying to you, or just using you for sex... SINCE, he's actually TOLD you that he's not that in to you!!!!
This allows a guy guilt-free sex.... whilest justifying what he is doing.
You are (and will continue to be) the victim in this... for as long as you choose to allow it....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): He can't move on - you have to. You are wasting time chasing what is not there.If you were right for him, he would know by now. what ever has happened in the past, those are his deamons, not yours. It eats away at you, not being loved. You end up feeling unlovable. Go and wait for someone who makes you feel loved. Tell him you understand that he feels that way and hold no grudge, but you deserve more.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2013):
IF you are not happy with status quo then END it, all he is doing now is using you.
By claiming or admitting that he has no feelings for you, he think he has no obligations to commit to anything. And BY let him do this to you, you are basically saying it's OK we can have sex and go out without any strings.
The thing is YOU think he is your BF, but he doesn't. You two are not on the same page at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): A tally time only kills passion, if he doesn't haven't now, he will never have it toward you. nd why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want you?
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