A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi agony aunt, i wrote on this site about my 48 year old husband leaving me for a 24 year old. I want to thank all of you for the advice that you gave me. it helped, although i have my good days and bad days. im still in that i wish he would wake up, even though its been 6 months since i tossed him out. i am getting stronger everyday, and he is still with her. perhaps everyone was wrong maybe she really does love him. i saw him the other day and he has aged so much since hes been gone. my heart goes out to him, and i feel guilty for taking him for alimony, i know he needs it, for all of his loansThe loans people are calling me looking for him. i dont know what he is doing with his money, he makes a lot. and yes i'm still married to him, its taking a long time. i just wanted to write this as a follow up, because i dont know how to do it under my original question. wanted you all to know how its going for me. still hurt but not broken. THANK YOU all for the advice.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 The fact that you would even ask such a question is a testament to your character and compassion. To answer your question, I say continue collecting the alimony. Of all the people or entities he pays I'd say you have a greater need for and claim to it.
His 24 year old play mate has other options. She can return home and live with her parents, she can find a new sugar daddy or she can get out there and earn enough money to buy her own trinkets. Despite the toll it's taking on him, your ex husband keeps the girl around because she is still worth it to him. It may not make sense to you orto us, but it does to him. Once he has lost interest in her, the well dries up and she's history. And we know vice versa is true.
If he can afford to bribe a young Barbie to play with him, he can certainly afford to reimburse the wife who bore and raised his children, cleaned and decorated his home and probably took better care of him than she did of herself.
I feel for the man too, but he's a grown up and is in charge of his own life. Anything he doesn't like he can change at any time.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 I am so happy that you are making a steady recovery, you have done so well to get through the past 6 months of what must have been unbearable pain.
I can understand you feeling 'guilty' for recieving alimony payments but it is a misplaced emotion. The bare fact of the matter is that your husband abandoned you for someone else (his choice), because of that fact it is unfair to deny you monetary support when the split happened through no fault of your own.
It's hard to see your ex looking so old and exhausted, you remember how things used to be and the person you loved and despite that love, you could not save them from themselves.
I feel like that when I see my ex husband, he was a cheat and a gambler, we split after over 20 years together and boy did we go separate ways. I focussed on healing, health, staying in shape and enhancing my life with everything I missed whilst married to him. I keep my bills paid, take care of my kids and even have vacations and travel (on a low income)
He, however was ditched by the women, got old, is now massively overweight and bloated (because of drinking) and looks at least 10 years older than he is. His home is a mess, he's constantly broke (despite being on a huge salary)...it is very sad to see.
You will be hurt for a very long time, maybe even forever, but it will become less important as the years pass by and other things will come along to replace the loss.
If you would have asked me 8 years ago if I could be happy and feel complete contentment ever again, I would have told you it was impossible...well it isn't.
You can climb mountains...and you will find happiness again.
Hugs for you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
|
