A
male
age
41-50,
*redictable
writes:My partner and I have been together in a long-distance relationship for about 18 months. We've had our fair share of ups and downs. Her moving away for a job during a hard period. My insecurity because of an event that happened with her ex bf. And now, I've finally come clean about my cheating. I had cheated twice and lied about everything. The first time i cheated was with a work friend. At that time our relationship was very rocky. It had nothing to do with sex, it was about comfort and loneliness. GF and I lived 4hrs apart and saw each other on weekends. I couldn't handle the lonliness and eventually turned to someone else. The second time was about sex. GF and I decided to separate and during that time I slept with someone else. Then my gf decided she wanted me back so I told her half-the-truth about the second crime but nothing about the first. Eventually she found out the truth about the second - and I came clean about the first as well. It was hard but I told her everything.Now I'm eating myself alive feeling sorry for myself and all. I'm so sorry that I've hurt her and full of remorse. It's true that all I ever wanted was her - she just wasn't here and gave me nothing to say she was moving back.I am madly in love with this woman. She means the world to me. She's told me I've never got a chance in hell of ever getting back with her. Fair enough - I never expected one after what i did. I'm an idiot, I know, and hate what i did. But i needed to get it all off my chest because the guilt was eating me. I can't imagine what she's going through but it must be 1000x worse and I can't even imagine the pain.We spent a week not talking. Now she's decided she wants me there to support her during this time because she says she has no-one, but still doesn't want me back. I feel I owe it to her but I don't know how I'd handle it because she did this to her ex as well. She wanted his support but found me along the way then gave him the flick. I don't wanna get hurt like that even though I deserve worse. In my heart I feel there's hope even though she says there's none. I know that she's still madly in love with me too - she told me. She just can't get past this.We're now talking openly about everything and its helping her to understand alot. She's mentioned a holiday and even coming to visit and stay a night to talk but not to expect anything - and fair enough I'm not going too.But I'm lost as to what to do. I don't wanna get my hopes up and get hurt like her ex. Do I stick around or not?
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male
reader, predictable +, writes (6 April 2009):
predictable is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just an update - Yesterday my ex sent an email to the first OW.
The OW now has her family involved and is saying she didn't know I was in a relationship which is a complete lie. It was the first thing i told her! Also, everybody at work knew about my partner - how could they not! We had been attending all work functions and events together. I even told the OW about how our relationship was a mess and how I just wish she'd listen more.
Now my ex doesn't believe anything I say. I've managed to talk a friend into talking to her and answer any questions. She is a mutual friend of me and the OW, but knew everything that was going on.
I'm starting to feel this is all getting blown outta proportion. I now have all her family and friends involved, the OW family involved who wanna call the cops no us, one of my close friends and it its all caused by something I did.
I guess I'll find out tonight what happens.
A
male
reader, predictable +, writes (6 April 2009):
predictable is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx guys. I'll post an update soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): Should be all good man, i am also in australia in a LDR. Just play it cool dude... dont smother her to much and it should work out.
just be there for her and show you still care...
goodluck!
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