A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a problem with my boyfriend. We have been together for 4 months. In that time we have gone out and had lots of good times together and he has treated me very well. He does not like my roommates. My roommates have been difficult for me to live with, putting pressure on me to be around more often and to confine to certain rules. I invited him to our apartment's potluck party and gave him a hard time because he had other plans that night. He went and felt extremely pressured to go. He ended up drinking way too much and stayed up with a few others until 5:00 in the morning. When my rommate asked him to quiet down he refused and told her "You shouldn't of had a party if you didn't want us to be loud." Then he came staggering into my room and woke me up getting into a strange argument and saying I thought he was disgusting because I didn't want to have sex with him. After an hour of telling him to shut up and go to bed, he finally fell asleep. It was a scary experience for me to deal with him in that state. Now this was a one time offense. But I felt pressure from my roommates and friends to break up with him after this. And I was uncomfortable enough with the situation that I did. After a weeks time he asked for me back swearing he would never do such a thing again. He was extremely sorry for what he had done. He said he would go to a counselor and everything. So I told him I would slowly start to see him again and if anything of the sort did happen again I would break up with him for good. But I keep experiencing anxiety about my decision to get back with him slowly. I want things to work out between us, but I just can't get over what happened that night. What should I do about this?
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female
reader, kellyO +, writes (22 December 2005):
hi dearie, i can understand your worries. if he is doing something bout it that is a good sign. maybe u can go with himto counselling sometimes this might help u understand and show tour support.
its yor decision really but since u have already forgiven why not stick to your words. watch him and if he does that again as u have indicated then u leave.
all the best. merry xmas and a happy new year.
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (22 December 2005):
Unfortunately this is one of the many ugly sides to drinking. You saw that maybe too much alchohol and staying up that late is not a good combination for him. If he has promised not to do it again and he was not physically violent you can probably chalk it up to a bad night, but this is something you want to keep an eye on. While most young people can remember, or have been told of a completely out of character night they had while drinking sometimes this can be a clue in to the persons bad side. Really, if you have never seen a problem before or since this and drinking is not one of your main activities, I would not let your roomates pressure you in to getting rid of a nice guy. Be safe and good luck.
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