| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Unfortunately I just ended a 3 year relationship. However, I fell in love with her kids. My question is: Her daughter is celebrating her 9th birthday soon and I have a present for her. Should I just mail it to her mom (I live 2 hours away)and she can give it to her; either from me or anonymously? Should I send it directly to her daughter for her birthday, or should I just not send it at all since we have broken up? I'm not looking to get back together or anything in return; it's just that the kids mean the world to me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (25 June 2006):
 Hey babe
I have to say your intentions sound very sweet, i completely agree with bev about this. You need to give your ex a ring and just ask the question, explain that your not out to rekindle things or you have no ulteria motive just simply wanna give the kid the gift, if she loves her kids she will respect your honesty about the whole ituation and take the gift to make the kid happy on her their birthday.. its one of those situations you have to play by ear and just hope that she is grown up and adult about the situation...
I hope my advice was of some help to you sweetie :o) good luck ok... If you ever need someone to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on or maybe a little more advice, truely i'm always here for you ok :o)
You Take Care Babe And Good Luck X
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 June 2006):
 I'd suggest that you lay it on the line with your ex, speak the truth and ask for her opinion. Ultimately, she gets to decide whether her daughter gets your present anyway, so she should be consulted in the first instance.
Explain that you want the daughter to have the present, and that there are no strings attached, and ask your ex if that would be OK.
It would be a hard-hearter mother indeed who wouldn't pass along your birthday wishes, either directly, or at the very least, anonymously.
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