A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for 5-6 months, are relationship was dysfunctional and based pretty much on lies, and even though it was absolutely terrible, i'm still ashamed to admit I am not %100 over him. We have been apart for about 4 months now, we have had next to no contact in them 4 months as well and unfortunately I am still not over him. He was my second relationship and for some reason I was very attached to him simply because we were so a like. Unfortunately he cheated on me multiple times, by flirting with other girls online, kissing a girl at a party, and sleeping with another girl he may of slept with more but I don't know. I gave him so many chances but he had no respect for me, so we broke up, there were a lot of arguments since we broke up and malicious comments at one and other for the first month which made the whole situation harder. He treated me so poorly yet for some reason I miss him, i'd never go back to him of course but I just don't know where to go from here. One of my friends is now sleeping with him and for some reason it makes me angry partly of course because she was supposed to be my friend and secondly because I just miss him I guess? I don't even know what I miss. I want to get over him completely, I don't want to feel anything for him but how am I supposed to do that? I want to think about having another relationship in the next few months maybe, and be prepared to meet someone nice. Due to him putting me down so much I also have low self esteem, I feel like I can't attract anyone decent and it does get to me loads. How do I get over this %100? Thanks for reading.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): I had a similar situation in the past I also lost my job as well as my partner cheating on me and the whole thing gave me a breakdown and I developed anxiety problems.
For months after I would still have nightmares about my ex and I just wanted to forget and move on. I hated myself for still thinking about them and missing them after how they treated me.
But Time is a healer! keep your mind busy with other things you like doing. Eventually you will loose the feeling of sadness and loss about your ex and be able to think more rationally and see that you are much better off without!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): All you can really do, is things that make you happy. Hang out with your family and friends, but I'd kind of avoid the one sleeping with him :/ don't stalk his facebook or anything like that... just... let go. Eventually, you'll move on. Just know that it will take time.
In my freshman year of high school, my boyfriend cheated on me and it resulting in us breaking up... I seriously didn't get over him until 2 and a half years later. It was awful, and although I was dating every now and then, my mind was constantly thinking about him.
Now I'm in a fantastic relationship of nearly 5 years. It's amazing what time, great friends, and socializing can do for you :)
Good luck3
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't stalk him on facebook, he is blocked from everything. Him and this supposedly fried of mine are now together, they got together tonight, I found out through her and rumours, the reason I got so angry is because she accused him of basically forcing her into sex less than a month back, said to me she would never get with someone who has fucked me over and slags him off to me at every point she gets. That's just two faced. We send no messages to eachother, but unfortunately I live in a small town, and there is no getting away from the gossip here, I see him pretty much 3-4 times a week as the town is so small theres no getting away from him, so even when I bump into him, it hurts. I have sent this friend of mine a message telling her we are no longer friends because she has been nothing but two faced and told serious lies. I would love to stop hearing about him but I can't block it out as everyone wishes to come and tell me, I don't wish to hear about it, but I can't stop people from mentioning it. I do hope you are right, I just want to stop feeling anything with him and get on with my life, its been hard so far but I think the rough parts are over. Thankyou for the support aand your wise words :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2013): You will get over him 100%. Four months isn't really a long time; if you're getting over someone you really cared about.
Don't worry, he'll do enough things that will make you angry at him, and you'll get over him quicker. You do have feelings; or there wouldn't have been any to hurt.
Don't stalk him on Facebook, and stop keeping track of the girls he's with. That is self-torture. To get over someone who hurts you, requires that you don't contact them or check-up on them. You're still concerned about who he's with.
Force yourself to stop snooping in his business. He's a jerk.
I got dumped four months ago, but I didn't do anything wrong. It just didn't work out. It hurts a lot, but I feel a lot better than at first. I thought I'd never feel any better; that's how bad it hurt. I feel almost normal now.
The sadness starts to fade away. You get busy doing other things and meeting other people, and you slowly feel better. If you text message him or take his messages, you will reopen that sadness and pain.
You'll feel bad all over again.
Don't worry. You'll stop missing him. Block him from your feed on Facebook, and don't tempt yourself to keep stalking him.
If you get a message from him, block him or delete the messages. He's just messing with your head when he contacts you. Don't let him trick you into getting back together,
boys like that never change.
You'll meet someone nicer one day.
Just be ready. You have to move on, and forget about him first.
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