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writes: I think I'm in love with my ex boyfriend's best friend. I was seeing my ex for only three months and about half way through that time, I started having feeling for his friend. I had more in common with him than I did with my ex and loved spending time with him. We used to fall asleep together and he would hug me and stroke my arm (which my boyfriend never did). One night when we were really drunk we kissed. We both felt really bad but it kept happening over and over again. When I broke up with my boyfriend I was sure I wanted to be with him but I haven't seen him since. Now I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me insane. I want to call him but I'm worried he'll knock me back for the sake of my ex. It's only been a week and I know I should give it more time but I really am thinking about him constantly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2005): hey im in the same situation, im really into my ex's mate, hes sooooo nice and i thinkv him lots. I talked to him a while ago and he said he didnt care what my ex thought and that he had a new girlfriend so there was no problem, then a week after he blew me away and said he wasnt bothered about a relationship and has made various excuses since,the only thing i can put it down to is my ex said something to him as his cousin said to my friend that it would be too difficult for him because of my ex, see boys stick together. its likely that your ex could say stuff to this guy that he wont like just to spite you. some men just dont know what they want!!hope it works out for you
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2005): I was in the same situation. I dated my ex for 6 months. His friends used to come to our house all the time. One weekend while my boyfriend was off all weekend (cheating on me, I found out later) his best friend came by the house. We sat at the house talking for like 2 hours. He told me some things about my boyfriend that my boyfriend had been lying to me about the whole time we were together. When I confronted my ex about it, he denied it all and told me if I didn't tell him who told me he'd break up with me. I didn't want to ruin their friendship so I didn't say anything. He ended up finding out, but didn't care, and a week later I caught him cheating on me so I broke up with him. About a month later me and his friend started talking. We got along great, I thought he was the greatest guy. We decided not to tell my ex, and he wouldn't even let me go to my ex's house because he knew I still had feelings for him. One night I went to his house, and my ex was there. He acted like he hated me. The truth is, it really depends on the guy. The guys I know have this saying "bros over hoes" meaning their friends will come before any girl. Sometimes they stick to it, sometimes they don't. If he really values the friendship with your ex, and he thinks your ex will get mad, he might not take it any further with you because of your ex. Will your ex get mad? He feels he's the only one who has anything to lose because you and your ex aren't together, and they are still friends. Did ya'll ever talk about getting together if you and your ex broke up? I would call him, don't let him know your feelings, just call him as friends. He'll either tell you it will never happen or he'll want to do something. Being shot down is a very hurtful thing, trust me, I KNOW.. But it's better than beating yourself up over it for a long time, then trying, and getting hurt. It's better to just get it over with now. Instead of waiting around, and the same outcome happening. That way you can at least get on with your life
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2005): I think that you should call him just to talk as friends, keep the friendship for a little while, hang out together and see if anything develops. if he really likes you then he will want to be with you, and your ex will just have to get over it. trust me i know from personal experience, I dated this one guy for a about a month, in the middle of the month i met his cousin and liked him immedately, so about a week after i met his cousin i broke up with him, stayed friends with his cousin, and 1 1/2 months later me and my ex's cousin got together, and are still together. so if he really likes you then you two will end up together soon enough, but for now friendship is the key.
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