A
male
age
30-35,
*nickx
writes:Hey here’s just something I wanted an opinion on.You can skip down to the questions if you want but here’s the background if you want to read it.**BACKGROUND**I was in a relationship for 7 months that was semi-long distance (us being only 17 made it so that we could only see each other less than once a month at times). A week ago, I broke it off after about 2 weeks of it just going downhill due to distance. She still cares for me and has let me know she would like to get back together, and didn’t want to leave me. Truthfully I still care for her too, just the distance makes it too hard until we are both able to commit to this relationship. We’re now just friends.Last Saturday, before we broke up, I was at my neighbors college graduation party. There were only 4 kids there my age, 3 girls and 1 guy (from a neighboring district). Long story short, they wanted me to get in the hot tub, I refused because I still had a girlfriend. The one girl got my number, and started texting me, and indicated she was interested.Well, now that im single were talking pretty frequently, but so are me and my ex.I can’t say that meeting another attractive girl that was into me didn’t influence my decision to break up, but its not like it was the first girl during 7 months, ive never ever thought of cheating on her, or breaking up with her for anyone else, so it wasn’t major in my consideration. It was more like just the last straw.Now, I was fine where I was. Getting along with the new girl, it honestly doesn’t feel like anything changed with my ex since we hardly saw each other when we were dating.BUT. My dad likes my ex, and wants me to get back with her, he said unless theres someone else distance shouldn’t be a factor. I’ve been feeding him basically trivial reasons to break up with her because I don’t want to commit at this point and time, but he keeps asking me because he knows im trying to avoid his question. Im not 100% sure this new girl will lead to a relationship, she’s been good at keeping me guessing. Id say more like 90% sure. And before you make any assumptions, ive told my ex I think that she should see other people, she said she doesn’t want to right now. Its not like im just keeping her to the side. Anyways, I wasn’t going to get back with her until next school year at the earliest when I will have my license and be able to see her.**QUESTIONS**Question 1: Am I wrong for breaking it off and potentially hurting her? I just think during high school I should be dating to see the type of person I want to spend the rest of my life with, not just dating forever and already seeming like we’re married, because im so trapped I cant get out without her telling me shes going to kill herself.Question 2: If I tell my dad I want to get back with my ex, that will likely launch another long term relationship, because it wont be so easy to get out without hurting her this time, and I really don’t want to hurt her. But if I tell him about the other girl, its not a guarantee yet and he more than likely wont let me see my ex again even just as friends, which I don’t want.This wouldn’t be a problem if I wasn’t being rushed to make a quick decision…Thanks,xnickx
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female
reader, Waiting for an angel +, writes (7 June 2010):
Ok, so i didnt read the background .... You should never be with someone for pity in the long run you'll hurt her more. I highly doubt she will kill herself if you leave her. If shes your age , shes very inmature and is a little idk but if you're worried about her possible well being talk to her parents but dont be with her because of that , it wouldnt be a healthy relationship.
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