A
male
age
36-40,
*ay_90
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for the last two years and last month in march was our 2 years a month on she tells me it's over. before the split she told me how much she loved me and how our 2 year anniversary was so special. We're both at the same university doing different courses with her doing ict there are alot of males around her. Her previous bf was very protective of her and didn't like her talking to boys where as i'm the opposite to this I allowed her to socialise and make friends being at university it is what you do. i used to see her on a daily basis and at times we did have fall outs but did talk through the problem and got over the matter. she tells me that she has no feelings for me, she doesn't know how or why shes lost feelings for me. She says she needs time and the day she ended it she was in tears saying please dont hate me and please forgive me the next day i met her again and she didnt show any emotion at all and said I can't be with you for the sake of it. She seems to be coping with it well and she told me she knws what she is letting go of and she's thought about it and that is what she has decidied. she also said it is best if we cut of contact for a while. please help!!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Don't take too literally the 1 -3 weeks she mentioned . Probably she had been having misgivings since quite a while but did not want to rake a rash,impulsive decision- or simply it took her some time to break the news to you because she knew she was gonna hurt you and you were gonna take it badly.
Now you have to decide if starting commuting again ,or stay where you are. That's up to you -just rememeber not to jeapradize your educarion ,career perspectives or future for her. Nor for any other girl,as for that. Never !
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 May 2010):
Let her go. It's not your job to fight for her, because she's already effectively ended it. It's up to her to come back to you. She has made it clear that she now wants to move on, and you need to do the same for your own peace of mind.
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A
male
reader, jay_90 +, writes (20 May 2010):
jay_90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi there many thanks for your messages back. So I should respect her decision and move on and not fight for her.
She said she had these feelings for 1-2 weeks, but what i do not understand is that on March 27th was our 2 year anniversary and on April 26th she told me she has no feelings for me. She said these feelings occured for about 1-2 weeks. It's a bit odd that's all.
Another point is that I was commuting to and from university and we never really spent much time together. I then rented out a room close to university to be with her and now it is my final year which is crucial, me and her are no more, I spent most of my time with her i would feel just lost if i were to stay and down or should i just be strong and stay?
please helpp!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): See I would like to tell you to move on but I am going through the same situation. However, I live with my ex and he wants his space! Think of how hard this is! If this recently happened I would give her the space that she is asking for and not contact her for awhile. I have faith that she will contact you eventually. Give it at least a week or two and if she hasnt said anything to you then text her "I'm thinking of you and want to see how you are" You will get a response. Then go from there. No one turns off their feelings just like that. She has either been planning this for awhile or she is pushing you away now to make it easier. Either way she still cares.
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Hi there! I have some ideas that my help you:1.Do not initiate any contact with her. If you start begging, crying, sending flowers, gifts, you will only jeopardize your chances even more. Best thing to do is to agree with her and to NO contact with her whatsoever. If she texts you, emails you, calls you just to talk to you and to see how you're doing, DO not answer. Completely ignore her.2. Go on a boys night out, have a good time at some club/bar and FLIRT with other girls with your boys.3. Get a new gf! Go on a dating website or ask of the girls you've felt like they like you, but you were unavalable because you were taken before. Now it's the time to give those girls a chance, but don't do it right the way. You need some time with no girls in order to heal.Eventually, this will drive your ex-gf crazy and she may ask to see you. This could be your chance, but chances will be that you'll have moved on and found someone better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): Your now ex-girlfriend has grown up and decided to learn to live her own life. It's thanks to you that she has been able to do this as you giving her space to to socialise and make friends has given her confidence to explore the world. Rather than be down in the dumps its really best you accept this. She has cared and loved you enough for her to be honest with her feelings, therefore, stand back. I am never one for believing in staying in contact with ex's as somewhere along the line it isn't good, so as the girl as for contact to be cut I admire her and would advise you do do the same. Should you be in contact at a later date, take care as you may end up being the man whose shoulder she cries on when things are going bad and then disappears again during the good time
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 May 2010):
This is one of those cases where you have to take it on the chin and move on. I've been there. My girlfriend told me she loved me. 2 days later she'd cheated on me on my birthday. Pretty low. But I got over her, and moved on. I suspect that she just needs to live her own life right about now. It's no reflection on you. So respect her wishes, cut all contact and move on from her. You'll find someone who will commit. In the meantime stay focused on your work and get back out there and meet new people. You'll get over her in time.
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