A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend of about 1 year broke up a year ago. We both moved on and started seeing other people but I'm finding myself missing her again, I'm thinking about her all the time and I'm starting to want her back... I've no idea how she feels but I can't just talk to her about it after all this time and nor do I want to simply put my feelings aside and keep trying to move on if after a year I still can't. I don't know what to say or anything. All I know is that I want her back. Erm...help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKind of. I'm just going to take the advice of keeping it fun so she remembers the positives etc. Going to work my way up gradually I think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKind of. I'm just going to take the advice of keeping it fun so she remembers the positives etc. Going to work my way up gradually I think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): I agree with you, hence my suggestions!!
So have you decided what you are going to do/how you are going to approach it yet?
Let us know how it worked out!
I agree with your sentiments, better to try/give it one last shot before you throw in the towel completely...Either way, you will know you gave it your best.
Best of luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): If you love her and the break up was not horrible and things are fixable then go for it. There is nothing worse than to lose the person you love. So go for it and see what happens, if it doesn't work then at least you tried. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help.
To the people saying not to try, I respect you are trying to voice your own opinion on the matter. But you still missed the question.
Also, why shouldn't I try? For all you know it could be the best thing I ever do. Life is too short and full of missed opportunities to be thinking about backing off in my opinion. I'd rather know if there was a chance than potentially spend the rest of my life wondering what if. That's the way I see it anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): A year is a long time. I don't think you should contact her. There's a reason why you two broke up. I don't think it's fair of you to contact her after all this time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Just be friendly at first, a simple call, text or email saying you've been thinking about her and wondering how she is, and see how she responds, (or even if she does respond?).
If she does respond back in a friendly manner then you have a starting point. If you do agree to meet, again I would keep it simple and fun (no need to talk about the past just yet) you want her to remember the good sides of you and leave her with a positive image in her mind about you. Then she will be more likely to agree to another meeting.
If she seems interested in you again, then at some point you will have to discuss why it went wrong, and convince her how you can both make sure it doesn't this time.
You are worrying about things before you have even initiated any contact with her or had a response from her yet! Just test the waters, and be friendly, see how she reacts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again. No i'm not with anyone and neither is she. We are both single so there's nothing stopping me trying in that sense.
Like I say, i'm just unsure what to say to her, whether I should try and arrange to meet up with her, talk about things or just try and start again from square one as if we never dated before if you know what I mean? I don't know what kind of tactic to play or anything and if I am to go for it then I don't want to mess up any potential chance by picking the wrong way of going about it.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 April 2012):
 If she's with someone else still, then leave it alone.
If *you're* still with someone, then leave it alone! You didn't mention if the someone else you were seeing is still in your life. If she is, then don't be a cheater!
So I'm going to assume that you're not seeing anyone now and tell you that if she's single now, you could make contact with her. If she is seeing someone, then she's moved on.
Who broke up with whom? Did you break up with her, or did she dump you? If she broke up with you because you weren't doing anything as a couple, then I think you might have a better chance to re-establish contact, IF SHE'S SINGLE.
If you did the dumping, she might seriously hold it against you. I wouldn't try and win her back without seriously trying to make it up to her that you got bored and dropped her. She wouldn't trust that it wouldn't happen again.
However, and I must say it a third time, don't go back and try to steal her from another guy, especially if they're happy together. Going behind a boyfriend's back to see an ex is a major no-no in a relationship. A quality woman wouldn't go for that, and you'd be setting yourself up for major rejection.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): you could still get back together, try reading some of the online books about getting your ex back, many say to stop contact completely for a period if you haven't done that already and then to eventually call and get together to test the waters.
If there were no major and unsolvable problems in your relationship and the love is still there and she isn't with someone else she loves more now it could still be possible. you have to decide whether it is worth your time to pursue this since it's less likely that you will get her back.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all. I know it's most likely a lost cause. But I was asking how I could at least try and get on the tracks. I wasn't asking if there was hope lol.
And we broke up because, to put it simply, we hardly did anything as a couple ie going out etc. Which is a lesson I have since learned.
But again, my cry for help was for advice on how I could at least to try and win her back.
Oh and it is not because I'm bored.
Thank you guys.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012): Ok, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If she is with someone, leave well alone. If not, do you still have her number? could you call her or text her to say hi, long time no see, what you upto, fancy a catch up?
If you don't have her number I'm sure you know where she lives? Drop her a card to say hi. Or do you know where she hangs out? Could you drop into the same pub/cafe etc?
Just make sure it is her you want, and you're not just feeling lonely before you act on any impulses! Oh and prepare for the fact she may have totally moved on from you in a 'romantic sense' before you do anything. Could you handle a knock back?
The truth is none of us aunts/uncles can know her reaction, so you really have to be sure you are upto facing the truth from her before you act. Give it a few more days, to make sure you really want to know her answer (good or bad) before you do anything. The postive is you will know for sure if your feelings are reciprocated. The negative is it may knock your confidence/put you back to square one/open old wounds if it is not.
Weigh it up, mull it over, then either do it and know once and for all, or remember her fondly and look for someone else and to the future.
Best of luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): Depends on why you broke up in the first place. I would say after that length of time it sounds like its curtains for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): You broke up for a reason. You are probably missing her because youre bored.
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (31 March 2012):
 Move on my friend. From my experience, once they leave they rarely come back, don't waste any more of your time. It's over....sorry. Be a man and deal with it. Best wishes.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (31 March 2012):
 if she is still in her new relationship then leave it. if shes single too then fone her ask how she is & suggest meeting for a catch up
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