A
male
age
41-50,
*ohndoe200three
writes:Ok so ive been with the same girl for the last 8 months. We are both in our twenties. I had recently come back from a military deployment and saw her a few times before i left for leave which was about a week. She couldnt come with me because of work and some other issues. While i talked to her while i was gone everything seemed ok. Then the day i came back we went out and saw a movie and that night she was going out for a friends birthday. She said they were going to drink at a few places and that was fine with me i trust her even though she doesnt think so. Anyways before i dropped her off she said jokingly that id prlly get some dumb drunk text messages later on in the night. I laughed and said that was fine. Well come later on that night i did get a text message saying she thinks we should break up and to not try and call her cause she wont answer her phone. I think her friends are putting things in her head. Its either that or shes got another guy now. Thats what i think at least. I dont think it is another guy though. Now its 3 or 4 days later i tried texting her once after this happened and got no response. Id really like to talk to her to see what is going on. I dunno what to do.....maybe i should just show up at her house. Maybe i should wait it out a little longer. I really dunno what to do, but i know one thing for sure i really dont wanna lose her. I care about her way to much. Any opinions or advice would be appreciated.
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male
reader, johndoe200three +, writes (22 February 2008):
johndoe200three is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell she finally talked to me. Only over text messages which i thought was pathetic but i said what i had to say. After I finished saying what I needed to I told her if she needed anything id be there for her and left it at that pretty much. As much as it hurts me to say seeing as how i was starting to fall in love with this girl i dont think i will contact her again even as much as it hurts. I just dont see anything i can do to try and save this relationship which suck pretty bad. If anyone knows anything i dont lemme know. Thanks
A
female
reader, jabey  +, writes (21 February 2008):
leave it a month do not contact her. She may well contact you in this time. after a month call her and by then her emotions will be more settled and she will probably respond.
Calmly talk with her and ask that it would be aprreciated if she could explain to you the reasons for the break up, whatever she says dont argue against her accept it and keep calm. No begging or persuading, or getting angy.
Explain that you love her, but understand all she is saying wish her luck.
This way she will be shocked she will be expecting anger, begging grief. But if you act this way she will wonder why she ever left you.
Then leave it she will prob contact you again. In the meantime go out have fun, live your life , date others build up your self esteem.
then contact her again, and ask to meet for a friendly coffee, meet be cool dont mention the relationship.
Let her see what a fun great guy you are. Most people I know when they have been dumped if they act coolly, calmly, at some point the ex wants them back. I have to say by then you will prob have moved on met someone else and wonder why you ever bothered.
If you want her play the game. By calling her, turning up at her home etc, i can promise you that wont work. Let her miss you. xxxx
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (21 February 2008):
 It sounds to me like this girl has already made up her mind. She has had plenty of time to call you and apologize or try and work things out. After 8 months she shouldn't have broken up with you via text message. I think you are better off without her. I think it would be a good idea to stop contacting her and see what happens from there.
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