A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm onl with my guy for 3 months and I'm already considering breaking up. He does not respect me, emotionally abuses me, says hurtful things that are destructive to my self-image, controls the things I do or what I wear. But how should I break it to him when he thinks the relationship is fine when I'm so bitter on the inside? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): You do it by finally speaking up to him about how you truly feel about him. If he thinks everything is fine that means you have not been honest to him about how you hate the way he treats you. It means you have been keeping inside your true thoughts. So you break up with him by finally telling him the truth of how you can't stand the way he treats you.
do it in a public place so if he gets angry and starts yelling at you, he makes himself look like an arse.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 July 2012):
 The sooner you do it the better. He needs to figure out that his behavior is not right. And you, deserve a better guy.
I would just call him and tell him that it isn't working for you and that you are letting him go.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 July 2012):
 You have only been with him for 3 months. Just say it. You don't owe him any other explanations especially if he is emotionally abusive. In fact, if he is emotionally abusive and controlling, I would text it or email it. You don't want to be alone with this guy when you tell him. If you tell him over the phone, he could berate you. I guess it just depends on how you want to approach it. To me, you haven't been going with him long enough to develop a good friendship, so I'd just do it however you see fit.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 July 2012):
 Its simple you need to be honest with him. He is breaking you down bit by bit until eventually you will become this person who is controlled by him and you only answer to him. I am glad you can see his behaviour is wrong and you need out. Be honest with him, tell him you do not like the way that he treats you and that this relationship is just not for you. Stand up to him and be the strong woman that you are. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Nehemie Mb  +, writes (3 July 2012):
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about what he puts you through. But this will be straightforward, really. You said "Breaking up with someone who thinks everything is fine. How do I do that?" But from the description of the relationship you have with him, to me it seems that NOTHING IS FINE AT ALL!!! And that is exactly why you should break up with him. He doesn't treat you right and he is TOO BLIND (or too stubborn) to see it. That's the kind of men that don't change. I should know, I'm a man.
So how do you go about breaking it to him? Simple really, just like you did in your description, tell him that the relationship isn't working for you, and it isn't enjoyable for you anymore. That he abuses you, destructs your self-image, controls you, etc...and that's not the kind of environment you want, in fact, that's not a healthy environment for anyone!
You should know that simple doesn't necessarily mean, easy. The hardest thing here is that, he thinks everything is fine, he might try to hang on, may be harass you into staying in the relationship (since he has the tendency to control), or even make false promises if he's desperate enough. DON'T GIVE IN! Just come back to your post and remind yourself of the reasons why you thought of leaving in the first place. Never compromise at any time! If it's not good, move on...don't be afraid to be single for a little while. The important thing is that at the end of the day you're happy, or at least trouble-free.
I really hope for you it won't get too messy and that he'll be reasonable. Hope you find a better relationship in the future. Hang in there, good luck!
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