A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. We had been together for nearly 2 years, everything up until a few months ago was great, I'm not really sure what happened but recently we've been having communication problems and i wasn't sure things could be fixed. Im obviously upset we broke up because i spent a lot of time with him. I spoke to my parents, my mum is very understanding and said to just do what i think is best, my dad on the other hand was brutally honest and said he didn't think we were compatible. I don't know if i have done the right thing in breaking up with him, he fighting so hard to try and make this work but imm all over the place because I'm scared that our relationship could breakdown in the future and i don't want to cause all this heartbreak and paint in the future again.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2016):
 Did you have a good reason to break up with him? Sometimes it can just be a gut feeling telling us things are not right, but even if they are not right off course it is still going to hurt. The advice I can give you is don't listen to anybody but yourself. Ask yourself what it is you want from a relationship and can he offer you that. If you don't want a relationship then my advice is to break all contact to make it easier on you both to move forward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2016): I agree break ups are hard, and a break up can seem almost impossible when your ex partner wants to reunite and you don't. As cliche has my advice may sound- I believe creating a flow chart outlining the issues you and your ex partner had during the relationship will help you gain understanding. I suggest being honest during this excerise and highlight the areas where you did something wrong and highlight the areas where he did something wrong. Then, determine if the highlighted areas can be repaired. If the highlighted areas can be repaired then create healthy ways to resolve those areas. While creating healthy ways to repair those areas in the flow chart, add several bullet points to identify how to eliminate the areas in your future. Adding bullet points on how to address the problems in the future- will help you not focus on the negative aspects of the future instead you will have already created a solution to repair future problems. Miscommunication is an area in our lives that not only effects a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, if effects parent/ and children relationships and employee/employer relationships as well. I suggest also add a personal section in your flow chart that helps you identify healthy ways to repair miscommunication with your boyfriend and also with other type of relationships (like the ones mentioned above) And if you decide to not get back into a relationship with your boyfriend. I think it is amazing that you have great supporters in your decisions like your mom and dad. Be thankful for them until the Mr. Right comes along. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, ellsie96 +, writes (3 March 2016):
 Hi there! I feel very suited to answer this question and I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and have been for almost two years (two years in April) so I feel like I can help you out :)Personally, I think you know when a relationship is over. Sometimes I think the fact that you broke up with someone in the first place shows it was beyond the point of being fixed - of course, only you know if you made the right decision, but I think that the fact that you really did end things shows you were sure of yourself and you know you've made the right call.The fact that your dad also said he felt that you two weren't compatible - sometimes you need to hear the truth from someone on the outside. He said you guys didn't really suit each other, and you should trust his word.Of course, once you break up with someone who has been a part of your life for 2 years, it can get really hard and your emotions are all over the place, which leads you to think - did I make the right call? It hurts so much to be without him, is this a sign we should get back together?To those feelings, I usually say no. Break-ups are really hard most of the time, and they really hurt both parties involved, but missing the memories you had with them and yearning for a partner is different to knowing you made a mistake in breaking up with someone.Back in the summer, me and my boyfriend broke up for the length of one exact day - less than 24 hours really. You know how I knew we both made a mistake? Within a day we were both begging each other to try again, neither of us had any doubts and since then, things have been perfect.I think the fact that you had to come on here and ask for opinions shows you have doubts - if you have doubts over getting back together, it probably means it's not meant to be! Remember, it's also only been 2 weeks since you broke up with your boyfriend. Give it a bit more time, let the unhelpful emotions and loneliness get out of the way so you can think with a clear head over whether you made the right call.Of course, by then he could have moved on - but if he has, I think that shows that you weren't meant to be. If your boyfriend can get over the relationship in a couple of months, or if you can for that fact, it means that you were more used to each others company and the enjoyment of being together rather than actually really loving one another and wanting to spend the rest of your lives together.You're young, you've got lots of time to meet new people. You never know, years down the line something may bring you guys back together :)
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