A
male
age
41-50,
*money
writes:Ok so If you get a chance, read my other questions for a better history. Basically I was with this girl for almost 2 years, best relationship ever, lasted through a pregnancy with another woman. But In the end she started to go out a lot, almost every week end, and it seemed like I was competing with her girlfriends. I couldnt take being home while my girlfriend was out at a bar someplace with her "girlfriends" till 3 in the mourning. At the time I was in financial troulble and couldnt always afford to go out. Even though I still dont want to believe it, she may have ben messing around on me. She went to the mall with a male friend, I consider that a date. She is still trying to get back with me, its been 3 months. I still love her but I dont want to be a sucker either, get back with her and in 6 months, ill be waiting up for her to come home again. She swears up and down she didnt do anything, I really dont know. I am in a delima my mind tells me no and my heart says yes. should I give it another try? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Good advice below. Ask yourself if you want a girlfriend who wants to act single and drink at bars until 3 am. She sounds like partying is the most important thing in her life right now if she continues to choose that lifestyle. You shouldn't feel bad about no affording to go out as it is a big waste of time and money.
I think she isn't much capable of a relationship and frankly she is probably not going to change once you tell her how you feel, but by all means give it a go, lay it all out and wait for her response, but her behavior will tell you all you need to know....if she continues on this path, she isn't ready for a real relationship and she knows it...let her go fly away, she will get in trouble drinking and driving eventually or with some brawl at the bars.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): Okay the first thing you need to ask yourself is: Do I love her? Like love love. The kind of love where you could get married or have children. Do you love her enough for that?The next thing is to confront her about how you are feeling. I don't mean to start yelling, being accusatory, or acting irrationally rude. Talk it out gently. Let her know exactly what's bothering you.I would like to address this problem: "She went to the mall with a male friend, I consider that a date." Think about what could've happened on that little trip to the mall. Think about the opportunities that other guy could've had. Now think about what her response would've been, based on the fact that you know her personality. What would she have done? What would you have WANTED her to do?Personally, I would give it one more try. If it doesn't work out, then you can still walk away with your head held high and knowing that you tried your hardest and it just wasn't meant to be.Much love,MB
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): Okay the first thing you need to ask yourself is: Do I love her? Like love love. The kind of love where you could get married or have children. Do you love her enough for that?The next thing is to confront her about how you are feeling. I don't mean to start yelling, being accusatory, or acting irrationally rude. Talk it out gently. Let her know exactly what's bothering you.I would like to address this problem: "She went to the mall with a male friend, I consider that a date." Think about what could've happened on that little trip to the mall. Think about the opportunities that other guy could've had. Now think about what her response would've been, based on the fact that you know her personality. What would she have done? What would you have WANTED her to do?Personally, I would give it one more try. If it doesn't work out, then you can still walk away with your head held high and knowing that you tried your hardest and it just wasn't meant to be.Much love,MB
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