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Braces! rubberbands! I feel so ugly. All my photos next year will be ruined. And I'm a dancer. What can I do to get through this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Health, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 November 2011) 11 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *IannaDIANNAx writes:

I'm 16 years old, and in my 3rd year of high school. I recently just got braces on, not to straighten my teeth (they were already straight), but, to fix my bite.

I have to wear rubberbands and all of that. I can't stand to even look at myself anymore. I hate opening my mouth. I'm a dancer, and I have been cancelling performances because I want to hide how ugly I look now.

I used to love smiling and laughing, now, I wish I could just sew my mouth shut. Next year, my senior year, I'm supposed to be doing all types of fun things, but, because of my braces, I can't. My senior pictures, homecoming, prom/formal, etc . will all be ruined.

I don't know what to do, I'm really starting to hate myself. I know I sound ridiculously shallow... (just another thing I hate.)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntHoney, this too shall pass. And when it does you will have a perfect "bite".

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A female reader, .Here.2.Help. United Kingdom +, writes (19 November 2011):

I have had braces for just over a year now, had rubber bands for a month and it's shocking the amount of people who don't even notice untill I mention them. I think this is because my teeth don't show much when I talk and I just don't make a big deal out of them, I avoid getting colours 'cause it draws more attention to them. Braces shouldn't make you feel ugly. You were pretty before the braces, you'll be pretty during and after. My boyfriend actually thinks they're cute. Lots of my friends want to get them even though they have perfect teeth. The only thing that should bother you about braces is the pain and extra cleaning.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (19 November 2011):

Everyone feels ugly when they get braces. I had braces in the last 2 years of high school to fix my teeth and my bite so I also had a mouth full of rubber bands. I never made a problem of them and when people mocked me I just shrugged and said "At least I'll have a row of celebrity teeth after this. One has to suffer to be pretty." And then I added a wink.

So just be laid back about it. After I while I even got those rubber bands in glow-in-the-dark version so they'd stand out when I went clubbing and I told everyone this was my version of a glowing smile. People actually thought that was pretty cool and after a while I didn't have to fake confidence anymore. It's kinda nice looking back at those pics now because I associate fun memories with them.

Really you think it's a huge deal now but in the future you'll shake your head thinking back how you overreacted about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011):

I know exactly how you feel, I felt exactly the same when I first got my braces on and I was 18! You're not shallow for worrying about it. But trust me when I say having braces was the best thing. I've had mine off after 3 years and its AMAZING. I feel so much more confident than I did before I had them and I can safely say it was all worth it. I tried to smile for photos with a closed mouth at first but in the end I got bored of that and just smiled my normal smile. I had to start University wearing braces and I was really worried about that but it was fine. Don't cancel your performances, and don't avoid photos at your Prom! You'll regret it if you. Just accept that this is a phase of your life that you will go thru and come out of and find it funny that you ever worried about it :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011):

I had braces for SIX AND A HALF YEARS. fixing an overbite is NOTHING compared to wearing them because your teeth half a million gaps. So please don't complain. You're LUCKY. Just wear your rubber bands RELIGIOUSLY. And I mean it. Wear them for whatever time your orthodontist suggested, be it 24 hours a day. It will pay off MUCH sooner. Good news is that an overbite should take about a year to fix, granted you wear your rubber bands. Don't be embarrassed of having braces. Braces look sexy on some people tbh, that's one of the reasons mg bf chose me! Braces will NOT harm you, they're there to help you look even better. so my suggestion is SMILE and don't be ashamed. You are not bound to a permanent contract with your orthodontist so you know, if you want them off before senior pictures/prom (which is what I told my orthodontist) then they will speed the process up in every manner or even take them off sooner upon your request.

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (19 November 2011):

The only way these things will be ruined by your braces is if YOU LET THEM BE RUINED.

I not only had braces and rubberbands my senior year (and for a few years before too), I also had something called a Herbst Appliance.

Why not try to have fun with your braces while you have them? You can have the bands changed to compliment the colors of your competition outfits for dancing?

A smile with braces is much prettier than no smile at all. When your braces come off, your smile will be even prettier.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (19 November 2011):

person12345 agony auntMy mom had to have braces for SIX YEARS. Do you think that kept her from being asked out by the most popular guy in school? I used to be a dancer too, lots of the girls had braces. I don't mean to be mean, but canceling performances because you have braces, that's completely ridiculous. My friend performed in the most important ballet competition in the world with braces and a big cast on her arm, and she got second place. You're 16, most teenagers have orthodontics at some point in their lives.

The only way anyone would care that you have braces is if you lock yourself in a room and walk around all day with your hand over your mouth. Otherwise people will probably see them go, "ouch, does that hurt?" and move on to something else. People would much rather see someone with braces smiling than someone with or without braces scowling all the time.

I used to have a big gap between my front teeth and when I got it fixed felt more beautiful and went out more and smiled more. But really, the difference wasn't that my teeth made me ugly or pretty, it was that I was presenting myself confidently and smiling more. No one cares what's on your teeth so long as they're clean and you don't have terrible breath. Fake confidence, smile lots, and you'll see that no one thinks badly of you for having braces.

Your braces aren't ruining your senior year, you are choosing to let them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011):

I always coined puberty as "The Ugly Years" So much so I can't believe any of us had boyfriends. But we did, lots of them. Look at the big picture. If you think you're ugly with braces now how about 4 or 5 years from now when you'll be even more drop dead gorgeous. Things get alot easier after say 20 so everything now seems like a nightmare.

And be happy you have the parents who will pay for these braces, alot of people can't. Also learn to drop the ego a notch or two and look at how you extend your beauty to yourself and others on a deeper level. Take this time of personal humility to become more human.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntso you plan to spend your entire braces experience in your room doing nothing?

I hate to tell you that YOU are the only one who notices them that much... practice a Mona Lisa smile... softly closed lips... DO NOT press them together.. just a natural closed mouth... it will be mysterious..

as a dance... you are on stage they can't SEE your braces trust me.

If you skip prom, homecoming and LIFE while you have braces on you will miss so much and later on you will regret it.

the only thing that's RUINING your senior year is your belief that YOU as a person are defined by your looks and your mouth...

so what happens when you grow up get married and get pregnant.. there was a time we hid pregnant women away too.

oh and to be honest I'd rather see a pretty girl with good teeth and braces than an ALMOST pretty girl with a bad bite or crooked teeth....

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntStop looking at it as a negative and don't let it get you down, plenty of people have to get braces and they don't let it get them down, just remember there is always someone out there who is worse off than you and they stay positive about your problems you just need to accept that they are a part of you now and don't let them get you down, they won't stop you doing fun things in fact people probably wont even notice them that much unless you make a big deal out of them. So get out there and do your dancing people will be looking at your moves not your mouth, and ask for your school photos as tennisstar88 said its simple just smile with your mouth closed.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (19 November 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntSo what's your question?

You just got them put on! You're not even used to them just yet. Give yourself time and you will learn to deal with them. A LOT of people have to have braces. I know people in their mid 20s who wear them, because their parents couldn't afford them when they were younger. Now that sucks!

How long do you have to wear them for? I bet a year if that since all you have is an under/over bite.

Those rubber bands are clear, so you're not going to be able to see them in your photos. If you're that worried about the metal smile, then smile with your mouth closed.

Trust me, you'll accept them within time.

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