A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:BF and I have been going out 3 years and this year I've graduated and started working and he started another course in uni. He's always been very outgoing and had lots of friends, but mostly guys who I know quite well. But since starting his new course he's making a lot more female friends. I've met most of them at least once and some are very nice, but a few of his closer friends aren't that friendly toward me and I've started to feel very insecure about him going out with them and staying over for parties etc. I've brought it up a few times and he says I'll like them once I get to know them, and he'd never do anything that would hurt me. I trust him but the fact is that they don't invite me out or include me when I am there. How can I stop myself feeling so insecure?
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female
reader, worrytoomuch  +, writes (5 May 2009):
This is sort of tough to analyze but, to me, he should ask you to go to these parties with him...and you should go! They may not know if he's the type of guy who will play around or not.. and they need to see he's fully committed to you and only you. Yes, a lot of insecurities have to do with yourself and how you feel about yourself; HOWEVER, your boyfriend should be doing anything he can about your feelings of insecurity with these new friends. Especially after being together for 3 years. I don't think you need to say "me or them" but I do think you need to really talk to him about it and ask him to make you feel better about it. Hopefully, he'll then include you when he goes to these parties. If he doesn't make you feel better.. I'd reevaluate your relationship and try to dig deeper into finding out if there's a bigger problem between you guys.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 It just takes time. I'm the most insecure person ever! I was even insecure when my boyfriend first started the gym! You just need to concentrate on the fact that he wouldn't hurt you, and you need to put your full trust in him, as hard as it may be. My boyfriend is so trustworthy and would never do anything to hurt me and yet I still get paranoid sometimes, I think its something that can't ever be cured but it can be controlled! X
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