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*exylinz
writes:hey everyone,ok so recently we've found out that my bf's mum in dying of cancer (about 2 month ago) the doctors predicted she'd pass away before xmas. now last night his dad rang us. they'd had the doctor out as she'd taken a turn for the worse n they are now predicting that she has a week to live at the most.my question to you is what do i do or say to him. he's not a very open person n i know i have to give him time but i know he'll struggle to cope no matter how much of a front he puts up.i've already told him that i'll always be there for him n im not goning to pressure him but if he ever wants to talk he only has to say.is there anything more i can do?thanx linz xx Reply to this Question
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reader, sexylinz +, writes (29 July 2006):
sexylinz is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok so just an update for you guys. his mother passed away this evening an his family are pushing him away as he was not there when it happened and hadn't been to see her for a few days.i've explaind to them all (as he was inconsolable) that the reason he had not been round was because he was so scared to see her the way she is. they dont realise that we live in the next town n therefore it takes us just under half an hour to travel to his parents house.my bf feels that his family are pushing him away and dont want him to be around anymore. i have tried to reassure him that is is just a shock to them as well as it is to him, and once they have had time to think things over things will change. he's not convinced......can i do anymore to make him see that its just their emotions talking and they dont really mean it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2006): my best friends brother passed away last summer, and she's never been the same since. and i struggled with what to say or do because you never know whether you should bring it up, or let them come to you. because if you don't bring it up, you're left feeling like you're being a shitty friend (or in your case, girlfriend), but if you do bring it up, you're left wondering if they didn't want to talk about it, and if you were forcing them. but either way, the best thing you can do in this kind of situation is to make sure that above all else, you let him know that you are his friend above being his girlfriend. because he may not want to stay together during this time, as he may not have the ability to give all of himself to you while he is so broken. you pretty much have done all you can do for right now. unfortunately, it doesn't always satisfy you because they are still hurting. but there's nothing else you can do for him at this point in time. the best of luck, and i'm so sorry for your situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2006): My fiance's mom died of cancer 2 years ago and he's still not accepted it.. he just barely started being able to talk about it out loud. No matter how much he pushes away from u or shuts you out, .,.....be there for him anyway, . he'll appreciate you for it later.
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reader, sexylinz +, writes (27 July 2006):
sexylinz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys. thanx for ur advice. i am trying to help my boyfriend as much as possible. but as we all know these things take time. i've had permission from work to take time off when she does pass away so that i can be there for him. i just hope its not as soon as predicted then he can have time toget used to the idea of loosing her.
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male
reader, Lo$t +, writes (27 July 2006):
 hi, sorry to hear bout that,Its going to be a touchtime for the whole family and consider yourself as part of the family too. The best is to be there for one another and where ever possible try to reduce undue stress, and try to get him to speak bout wat he is feeling.. Basically show him you care, and he has got a shoulder to cry on.
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reader, ask stivy +, writes (27 July 2006):
 Hi , im sorry to here about your best friends mam. I think the best thing you can do at this momant in time is to let your friend know that you are ther for him,witch you have all ready done.Yes it will be hard on him,so what he needs right now is a lot of soport from his family and friends.
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female
reader, rhc88 +, writes (27 July 2006):
 You have said and done the right thing. It is going to be a rough time for him. Let him know and feel you'll be there whenever he wants to chat but try not to smother him, this is a common mistake people make. And also, don't forget to look after yourself aswell.
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