A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:If I went into all the details, it would be a lot longer, so here’s the jist: My boyfriend is from St. Petersburg, Russia. He and his family immigrated here to the U.S. when he was fourteen and by then, he already knew his fair share of English. Because I've always been interested in the Russian language and we were coincidentally put into the same Math class in freshman year, we got to know each other and honestly, at first, I absolutely hated him.We’ve definitely been through our ups and downs throughout high school. After my first boyfriend and I broke up, my Russian friend asked me why I did break up with my ex. I told him because he threatened him and I didn't think I could deal with that. I remember he smiled at me and said, "You protected me." And I said, "Yeah, I guess I did." And walked away before he could say anything else.Junior year of high school, I started dating my second boyfriend. Two weeks into it, he hit me across the face and the first person I went to was my Russian friend and he beat the shit out of him. That sparked our friendship. We hung out about 98% of the time afterward and actually spoke in Russian a lot of the time, especially outside of school. We pretended that I was Russian as well and we held hands around the mall and what not just for the laugh of it. At least, I thought it was all for the laugh of it.Just over a year and a month ago, we went to senior prom together and when we were slow-dancing, he lifted my head and kissed me on the lips. When he pulled away, he said, “I ‘ave wanted to do zat since I sees you in Algebra 1 four years prior. I know I ‘ave been annoying zese past four years, but I’m willing to change if you become my girlfriend.”I accepted and we’ve been together ever since. The problem: He tells me his family has been pressuring him to propose to me, to ‘finally make me a Sudnik'; especially now that we're already a year out of high school.Russia has a lot of different customs than Americans do. My boyfriend and I both want to finish our four-year degrees before marriage but the part of Russia that my boyfriend's family is from has the custom that couples should marry straight outside of high school. So basically, his family wants to make me part of the family now.When I’m over at his house for dinner or just to be with my boyfriend, I overhear his conversations with his mom and grandma and even with his dad. They speak in Russian but I know exactly what they say all the time. My fluency in their language was what made them accept me into their lives. Anyhow, they all say they want crawling around the house, ????????? ?????????? ????????. Which translates to “little Russian babies”.Not that it matters to this particular question, but my family has also fully accepted my boyfriend into their lives as well. My parents do know of his family’s marriage pressure though, and they have told me that I should consider the possibility of reconsidering my relationship with my boyfriend. I told them, ‘I think not.’ And that conversation was dismissed.How can I get his family to back off for at least another three years? I mean, I’m way more than willing to marry 'the Son of Sudnik' and 'make little Russian babies' with him, but not right now. How can I get them to stop? Thanks very much if you actually read this boring as hell question. But I need help with this. Thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Maybe you could tell them that you and your boyfriend want to earn degrees first, get good jobs, and then marry. That's how it works. And for those jealous guys (who hated your boyfriend before you dated him) that you previously dated, are they American?
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