A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend's Erectile DisfunctionMy bf (37) and I have been dating for 7 months - it is a long distance relationship and we generally see each other for a 3 weeks stretch and then have a few weeks apart. For most of the relationship we have had amazing sex, frequent, adventurous, caring and sexy.During my last 3 week visit, we had good sex for the first week or so, then it dropped off. A few times he went soft during intercourse. And we had sex less often than ever before. Then, one evening he confided to me that he was concerned about erectile disfunction. He said that it wasn't that he didn't fancy me, but just that his penis just didn't seem to be responding to the usual stimulation - he had no interest in porn anymore, he didn't get aroused when he saw a really sexy woman, and he wasn't having morning erections anymore. He hasn't been to the doctor, although he said he would go. We did try to have sex again the day I left, because he got seem to get hard when I gave him oral sex, but it was no good, and then he was cross with me for trying. What do you think is causing this?Men, how would you like me to respond to you if you had this problem?Women, how can I deal with my own feelings of not having sex in what was a very sexual relationship?
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 Get him to a doctor NOW. At his age, chances are better than they should be that ED is hiding something bad, like maybe circulatory or prostate problems. Or the cause could even be psychological in nature. And even if it's not, there are medical treatments for ED now. Ever hear of Viagra? C'mon!
I've got 25 years on your guy, serious circulatory and endocrine problems causing the same kinds of troubles, and I can still manage to keep my lady well satisfied. It's just a matter of being open to an honest investigation of what is really wrong. The important thing is that neither you nor he should be blaming him (or you) for this. This is no time for guilt or anger. It's cr@p that happens, and it's cr@p that can be taken care of. Keep the communication lines OPEN. Don't shut down, either of you. Love is the key.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (1 March 2007):
 Your boyfriend would be best off seeing the doctor. There can be so many reasons for ED and you haven't said anything specific enough for me to narrow it down so it'd be best for him to have a quick chat with the doctor. I know I'm not a man but I'm giving you my opinion on how to treat him anyway. Just be sympathetic and reassuring and let him know that it doesnt matter because in reality it doesnt!! If sex is the foundation of your relationship it's not a strong partnership. Yes, sex should be a part of every relationships but not the be all and end all. If you don't have fun just hanging out with this guy maybe he's not for you?
CD
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