A
female
age
36-40,
*eeAnn86
writes:I have been dating a man I met online for 4 months now. After the first month he asked me to be exclusive. He is caring, affectionate, he wants to see me everyday and makes plans a lot, takes me places, takes care of me, and calls me everyday to see how I am doing. He introduced me to his friends and everyone we meet as his girlfriend.He remembers things about me I dont even remember. His family lives in another state and wants me to meet them. He has asked a number of times to meet my family. My concern is after a couple of months of dating, I discovered that he was chatting and and flirting with women online, and still had a dating profile. I asked him to take them down and he did. I checked a couple of weeks later and he was still talking to a woman. I lost it this time, flew into a rage and told him next time I am leaving. He told the woman why he could no longer speak to her right in front of me. He told her he was committed to his relationship. He really opened up to me about him problems. I feel bad for snooping but if I had not things would have only gotten worse. I cant stop checking up on him, even though since I have found nothing.. as if I let my guard down he will do it again. He has several friends who are players and cheaters who he knows I fully disapprove of and he tells them how horrible they are for what they do. He himself has a bit of a player past as he is a retired athlete who still has groupie girls chasing after him, facebook seems to not help. I hate the internet for this, and I just cant seem to get past these fears and insecurities. I trust that he knows that these things are wrong and not good for us, but I am not sure if he trusts himself...What can I do to feel more at ease because I know if I don't I should just end it anyway...Thanks
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female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (15 September 2012):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) If he's not willing to stop then I'd cut all ties. NOT worth it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 September 2012):
 I wish I had better advice for you but if a man needs the emotional ego stroke of the attentions of women, they will find them no matter what.
It was one of the biggest problems in my last marriage... he would not/could not stop chatting with women online... or by text...
I was never able to trust him again.... trust once betrayed is like a fine china tea cup...you can glue it but it's never quite as strong as before it was broken...
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A
female
reader, DeeAnn86 +, writes (15 September 2012):
DeeAnn86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh it is not a long distance relationship. We spend almost everyday together..
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (13 September 2012):
Are you really willing to end a 4 month relationship, I mean most long distance relationships end in turmoil because at least one of people in the relationship don't believe in it. If he didn't believe in it I'm sure he wouldn't go out of his way to call you to ask how you are doing and tell his friends and family about you. I think you shouldn't let the past get you down in the dumps and at least give him a second chance, everyone deserves a chance. I know I would sure as hell be offended if someone was snooping around my things and not being faithful to me, the most important thing in a relationship is TRUST. If you don't have it then end it, just remember you were at this for 4 months so obviously you both mean something to each other.
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