A
female
age
36-40,
*ockfaerie
writes:this is slightly, well very, embarrassing, I'm posting this out of sheer desperation, so please serious replies only!My boyfriend is um, rather disinihibited in public. This includes mainly groping my bum, breasts and talking about sex in full view and earshot of everyone. He will not stop and when I try talking to him about it, he says yes he will stop, but 20 minutes later he's at it again! Its not constant but I'd say about 10- 20 times a day if we are out all day together.I have tried the sit-down-and-talk route about how uncomfortable it makes me feel, and he says I'm just being too conservative, so I have asked him how many 30 year olds you see groping thier girlfriends in public. Obviously you don't! If anything it's getting worse.Nothing works and I don't know what to do, its so embarrassing and I'm just dreading the day someone I know will see him doing it. Is there any advice on how I can encourage himself to behave and keep it behind closed doors only? Please help!
View related questions:
breasts Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Hi, i've been there and its absolutely mind boggling that after telling them to stop repeatedly they still continue.
It all came to a head one day in the cinema queue. After telling him again and him doing it again, i lost the plot with him and shouted " are you autistic?"
He was so shocked we didnt speak much after that and later i dumped him and he bombarded me with calls and texts for weeks afterwards. I didnt go back.
I think it may be important for him to show the world look what i've got!! He sounds very immature and you are evolved way past him. If you want to carry on seeing him, tell him if he does it again in public you will walk off and leave him no matter where you are. good luck
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 If he can't get a clue, he can't have you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): He has a big problem with respect. Or rather, lack of it. There is really only one way to deal with someone who persists with unacceptable behaviour when you've told them that you don't like it......cut them out of your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): So basically your boyfriend feels he is entitled to behave in a way that makes you uncomfortable and blames you for it. He does that so he does not have to change. Only advice that is correct in my opinion, as you have tried talking to him in a mature fashion, is to end the relationship. Personally I would not want to compromise myself every time I am with someone - because by doing so you are undermining your own standards and boundaries. You will feel better for ending it and standing by your own sense of what is right and wrong than allowing someone else to call the shots.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): I had a friend of longstanding who reveled in the role of "shit disturber." He just seemed to get off by offending people. Didn't seem to matter how much he made people uncomfortable. Including bad language in family restaurants with small children at adjacent tables. I put up with it for years, but finally decided that he was immateur and that there was nothing that could be done to change him. So I ended the friendship.
You're uncomfortable. Someone who cares about you, who *really* cares about you, won't make you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend is a *boy*, not a man. He seriously needs to grow up.
Your choice is to tolerate this adolescent behaviour, or to move on.
...............................
|
