A
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with a man for 1 year ..we get together every other weekend as my 10 yr son goes to his fathers house. I have travelled with this man and still I find it troubling he wont ackowledge my relationship status on facebook, I am getting upset as he would rather deactivate facebook so he wont do this little gesture for me..I catch him on facebook and when I do I message as for him to know hes been caught and I send him the request He blames it on his ex wife and his daughter I dont believe him I think he creeps his wife if he gets an email from her hes so upset for the day and wont speak he trashes her so I dont know why he wouldnt want to be done with her if he just acknowledged he has a girlfriend. he would rather deactivate facebook than to say hes in a relationship also I have pics of me and him and he has only one of me .. a headshot !! really?? I dont know what to make of this, I feel his ex is getting a laugh out of all of this or hes just playing me help
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ex-wife, facebook, has a girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (28 February 2013):
Dear OP,
Your insecurities make more sense now that you mention his cheating. I suppose you think he might find it less able to cheat if his status was "in a relationship with x " on facebook, but unfortunately if he's going to cheat he'll do it regardless of his FB status.
All the best.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 February 2013):
I understand what you are feeling and why OP and yes if he lives his life on facebook it's an issue... but if he's only an occasional FB user... No big deal
the fact that he has a history of cheating.... yeah I see your point.
I hope you can find peace with this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses, I just thought that its just a gesture that he could of done for me, and I guess it would prove how serious he was taking the relationship, he has a very bad past of cheating hes just too private, he lives an hour away , I dont want to believe hes doing anything but seeing me once week and texting was fine but not acknowledging on something like facebook where our friends and family are just hurts. I know Im in my 40s but it would be nice to have that from him. yes its facebook thats just it why not? but thank you :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2013):
Wow... I would have guess your age to be in the teens NOT your 40's!
It's FACEBOOK for crying out loud. I rarely use my FB and no, I'm NOT friends with my husband. I don't feel a need to control who he talks to and what he does on FB, it is after all..... FACEBOOK. A Social media website.
Seems to me that you are very insecure about this relationship. Why not talk to him? Why the need to "catch" him on FB?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2013):
my husband doesn't even have a facebook page...
I read your post and had to check your age... .
It’s facebook… it’s not real life…
You say “I catch him on facebook” and “to know he’s been caught”
Wow that’s rather parental of you….
If you don’t let him near your 10 year old son why do you want him to post your relationship on facebook for his ex and his daughter to see… maybe he’s holding you as separate from his family as you hold him from yours?
You say he gets an email from his ex and he’s upset… how long is she an ex… is she fully an ex wife or are they still hashing out the divorce settlement?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): At your age I would not be bothering about a relationship status on Facebook.
If he has introduced you to friends and family in *real life* then what does it matter?
If you have never met his friends or family,after a year, then you DO have a problem.
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A
female
reader, 1ConfusedChick +, writes (25 February 2013):
OP...I get where you are coming from. Something so trivial, so why wouldn't he just do it if it means THAT much to you, because you mean so much to him. Does he tell his friends and family about you? If not, then, then my advice, get out quickly. Clearly, after a year, you should feel like part of his life. If he is actively keeping part of his life separate, that should tell you something about this man. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (24 February 2013):
Some people (me included) are quite private when it comes to Facebook. I've never done one of those "relationship update" things and don't think I ever will. I know married couples who don't state their relationships on Facebook. It doesn't mean anything on it's own i.e. if this is the only major nagging point in the relationship.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 February 2013):
You are taking Facebook way too seriously. Unless he's saying bad things about you on FB then leave him alone or you'll just push him away.
Put your energy into reality.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (24 February 2013):
I get how you are feeling, facebook is part of modern life. If he will kiss you in public in front of his friends then who cares about facebook - he probably hates facebook, NOT you. if he doesn't like anything public then that is another issue. he should be proud you are together, but he doesn't have to be facebook-proud.
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A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (24 February 2013):
I have noticed things like this from my friends on Facebooks they don't say they are in a relationship, it might be (don't be upset) he is messaging other women, he is possibly afraid of commitment.
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