A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been writing to this guy on okcupid for the past 6 months, during which time I was living abroad, and we couldn't meet. When we finally did meet, we had a deep connection. He's introverted, and didn't make any moves on me. Finally, on the fourth date we kissed and became a couple (we had the talk where we decided that we were together). After that, I took down my okcupid profile, and I noticed, a day later, that he took down his too. This was a couple days ago.Tonight, he told me on the phone that he's interested, just for fun (he said), to make a fake profile with an ugly person and see how many hits he gets, and asked me if I want to make a fake ugly girl profile too and he and I could compete.This didn't sound appealing to me at all, for two reasons: I don't have time to do this, and it is, after all, a dating website. Should I be worried about what he said? What do you think he means by it? Do you think he's trying to tell me he still wants to date online? Otherwise, all the other signs seem to indicate that he's serious about me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miss Lou +, writes (7 November 2014):
He's probably addicted to validation in the form of responses he gets from the site. The human brain is vulnerable to little dopamine rewards from getting something in your inbox. Maybe he should try something different, like starting a blog or a hobby of some kind. I think he needs to get off of the computer and into the world.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (6 November 2014):
I think he sounds extremely mean spirited and his "joke" is cruel, and I wouldn't hesitate to tell him so.
Plus, whose picture does he intend to use? He could very well get someone in trouble with their spouse (yes, "ugly" people have spouses too)
I wouldn't worry that he wants to date online so much as I would worry that HE is an ugly person....on the inside, where it matters.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): I forgot to add a few more details about this guy.
1. He's still listed as "single" on facebook
2. After doing a bit more digging up, I found that he is still on another dating website
So you guys think he's an a-hole?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): He sounds like an idiot with too much time on his hands.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 November 2014):
 I agree with HoneyPie... he sounds like a grade A jerk.
he's just about all the fun and games right now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 November 2014):
 I think he is an immature a-hole who doesn't seem to realize that there are people at the other end.
Dating sites are not made for people to play games (though plenty do it).
I think his attitude show how little respect he has for women in general. That he seems to think it's OK to do this.
How would you have liked it if this guy that you spend 6 MONTHS talking to on the dating site HAD a GF and was just jerking you around as a GAME?
Sorry, he sounds like a loser, not a keeper.
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