A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello guys ...So, to start off directly, my boyfriend kind of asked for permission to cheat on me, if you can then still call it cheating ... and gave me this permission, too, which doesn't really interest me since I could never do this...The thing is, that I actually can't see the point in cheating, because for me it just shows that somethink is lacking/going wrong within a relationship, and then one should either try and change things or just go ahead and end the whole thing... Problem is, there IS something lacking, but I can't "fix" it .. My boyfriend is bisexual, and now he wants to have sexual contacts with other males, because he says he sometimes misses is quite badly... What do you think about all this? He says it would only be sex and that he loves me very much, and I even believe him in his loving me .. and I try to see it "rational" and keep telling myself it's just sex, but we have much more in common than that, but still ... I can't help to get frustrated, sad and really hurt over this ... Please, can anyone give me reasons for cheating being a bad thing, if its only about the sex, except for society being that way? Because my brain is telling me there isn't too much about it, but my heart won't listen ... Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): Not to sound blunt but he's gay. This is his way of trying to end the relationship with the sex pass. I think you should end it to protect yourself. Plus you don't know what he's going to bring back form one of his lovers.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 June 2011):
 he is comfortable with open relationships and he does not mind if you go out and get yours too. you do not want the same sort of relationship as he does. if you stay together, one of you will have to give up what you believe.
simply put- you are wrong for each other. ok so he's bisexual and he misses sex with men. so is it ok for a heterosexual man to cheat on his girlfriend coz he misses sex with other women?
for some couples this would be acceptable, but i really believe that they are in the minority. this is irrelevant to you though, the fact is is that the relationship he wants YOU to have with HIM is likely to make you very very unhappy and if you don't go along with his wishes he may just do it behind your back anyway
x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Some people are able to maintain open relationships, where they both "screw around" (in lack of a better term), but neither get emotionally involved with anyone expect their partner.
Personally, I can't imagine a relationship like that. I honestly, don't see the point. If you (general you) want to have sex with whomever suits your fancy, whenever said fancy strikes.. Be single.
I guess it comes down to how well you share. How much you trust your man.
I can only imagine the STI's/STD's, the drama when someone DO get emotions involved, the jealousy, the distrust.. but like I said, an open relationship is not forr me. I'm old fashioned with old fashioned values and morals. Why? Because they work for me.
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A
male
reader, OldTimer Soon  +, writes (8 June 2011):
OK
Bank robbery is just forced borrowing
Rape is giving her what she really wants
Lying is normal and doesn't really hurt
Sex is Sex is a statement by a very mixed up
bi-sexual which most would think is really homosexual.
Problem really is your even considering his statement as possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Hi. Unless youre okay with this,i wouldnt go ahead and let him. You need to be 100% ok to have an open relationship. My bf said something similar to me last year.i told him i wasnt ok with it and he has since left it. Im bisexual,my bfs just curious,but it doesnt matter as both people have to be ok with it. Tell him youre not and see what happens. I hope it goes okay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Of course one will be upset if her | his partner is having sexual relationships with other people. Its not good that he's having sex with someone else even if the person is of the same sex. Cheating is cheating. I think you should talk to him about this and tell him you don't feel comfortable with it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 June 2011):
Your heart's right. He doesn't need to be having sex with other men/women, whoever. At all.
When you commit to someone, you make a decision to be with that person, and no matter how much temptation there is elsewhere, you still stay with that one person you committed to.
In my opinion, your boyfriend isn't committed enough that you should be with him. You know in your heart that you'll end up hurt. He might miss sex with other people, but the fact remains that he chose to commit to you. If he now can't do that, then he's not committed enough at all.
Incidentally, if you give permission for him to be with other people, then it's not cheating. That's why he's asking your permission. That way, should it all go wrong, he can always say "you told me it was okay".
It's up to you. Personally, I think I'd prefer the most important person in my life to be committed to me. I wouldn't want to share.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (8 June 2011):
 You already answered your own question dear. You already shouted a big, BLARING NOOOOOOOOOOOoo with the following statements.*you are TRYING to rationalize it.*you are frustrated*you are hurt*you are sadThe gender of the person does not matter. If you chose to be in a monogamous relationship and he wants to go OUTSIDE of that relationship for his emotional OR sexual needs/wants then he is not interested in MONOGAMY.It does not matter what "WE" think..is this a dealbreaker for YOU regarding your relationship? If not, send him packing. (No pun intended).Best Wishes.
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