A
male
age
36-40,
*hrisnwinc
writes:okay so I've been seeing this guy for about a month now and he has met my family and they know he is my boyfriend. About two days ago he asked me to move in right after we went and met some of his friends and his parents but introduced me as "A FRIEND". What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, netime  +, writes (5 October 2010):
I do't think you should move in together until he is out. The fact is your sharing your life with him but its all one way. A relationship needs to go both ways. Also being in a similar position atm you kinda get hurt because you feel like he is ashamed of you and your relationship.
When he can be open then its the right time to move in but before I think you might just ruin what you have.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (4 October 2010):
 he isn't ready for a real relationship if he cannot say that that is what is happening...
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 Talk to him about it. I'm assuming he hasn't told friends and family he's gay yet and that can lead to problems. Can you take being his "friend" in front of family/friends? Him dropping your hand when he thinks he sees someone he knows? You're going to be his secret, his "roomate" if his folks ever drop by for a visit. That will hurt you more and more as time goes by. Talk to him, ask him when he thinks he'll be ready to come out and why he hasn't already. He may truly fear losing the love and acceptance of those he cares for. I don't think you two should move in yet. That's a very serious step and he hasn't shown yet that he's serious about you and your future together. To show that would've been to say : I'm gay and this is my boyfriend. He's still insecure about who he is, I don't think he can make such a commitment while still refusing to show a HUGE part of himself.
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