A
female
age
30-35,
*ygirl
writes:Ok im 18 and iv been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, i do love him ever so much but i feel whenever there is an argument i dont get a say, he always overpowers the conversation and its finished when he has finished it doesn't matter what iv got to say.Even if i do get chance to speak i always get the same sort of response.Take last month for example i found on the internet that he had joined a swingers sight, my boyfriend is 28, and we have openly talked about this together but why would he go behind my back and then when i confront him why does he lie about it? As per usual i got the same response which was well if you wont believe me what can i do? So i either had to leave this life i had built or forget about it!I arrived in from work last night and the home phone was in the bedroom this of which is something suspicious because he always uses his mobile so in the morning when i check it for the recently made calls all the numbers were 4 digit numbers basically until it had used up all the space to preferably knock out the actual number he had called?Is it just me or is something going on?When i confronted him about this call situation he did what he usually did an overpowered the conversation and didnt give me chance to say anything.Please help me
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 May 2010):
It's how control freaks work. He knows he's doing wrong, but it's easier to blame you. That's what these people do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): You need to look at your own self esteem, and ask why you are tolerating this situation....really important, or you will not have a good life with healthy loving relationships. It is usually the case that when people get really aggressive and dominating in an arguement it's defensiveness....because they are on the brink of being caught out. Some people treat sexual partners like interchangeable cars, get a new one when they are bored with the old one, or trade up when they have more money time etc. These types of people have rubbish lives full of regret because people get hurt by them and end up not liking them. It seems that you have to follow your instinct which seems right on the face of it...and start valuing yourself, take control of your choices and be clear about what you want from a partner...you don't have to be involved with someone who you mistrust if you don't want to. Good luck sweetheart, you sound lovely.
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A
female
reader, aygirl +, writes (19 May 2010):
aygirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for replying to my post, do you no why he is so good at making me feel like its me thats done something wrong?
About the phone call he just recently about an hour after i did my post said that he hid the calls because its my birthday coming up an he didnt want me to find out by calling the number back?!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 May 2010):
Oh please leave him. He's on swinger's sites, he won't listen to anything you have to say at all, he lies about it when you do find out and are able to get one word in. The list will just get bigger and bigger. Dump him and find a better guy.
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