A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What should I do? my bf and i have been together for 8 months. Today, he threatened to assault me. He said "I am glad u are far away so I cant hit you"I am very scared of him. He has a temper and I feel like it is escalating to violence. I do not feel like I can be in a room alone with him. He said he was sorry in saying that and that it was wrong. I have no trust in him. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the responses. I did dump him and have cut all contact from him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Dump him. Don't wait another minute, just dump him and cut all contact immediately.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): My best advice to you is TELL somebody what is going on. Men like these prey on women who are lonely or will keep what is going on a secret. I know how hard it is to get out of abusive relationships, in fact relationships like these can be paralyzing, so the best thing you can do is to tell someone. A friend. A parent. Whoever you know that cares about you and can help.
I am currently hiding out from a guy who ended up being abusive toward me. It started out just like you are describing. I too was afraid of being alone with him. But I would always let him back into my house. I just couldn't accept or believe that this was happening. It was surreal. Or maybe he had me really brainwashed and terrified...My ex threatened to kill me. He got real violent. And he even threatened that if I spoke up there would be consequences.
The way I got out of this situation was I had told my best friend what was going on. That this guy was being abusive and psycho. She didn't quite know what to do as she always saw me going back to him. When she hadn't heard from me for a few days she got scared and called my family and told them what was going on. She saved my life. At that point, my family immediately got involved, I ran to the police, got myself a restraining order, filed a really detailed police report and relocated.
He quickly replaced me after I left him. In fact it turns out the guy was being unfaithful to me the entire time we dated. The whole thing was SICK.
In spite of the fact that he is a sicko I was so sad after the break up. I don't know why...The whole thing was very traumatising, I guess. It has been about 8 months since I left him but I am soooo happy now. He still tries to contact me sometimes but I blow him off or threaten him that I am going to contact the authorities and right away he backs off. I just don't want to live in hiding or in fear. That is why I haven't changed my number.
There are some f**cked up people out there!! Insane!! I never really knew how bad it was till I met this guy. Men like these brainwash women. Your best bet is to tell somebody what is going on, an outsider will be able to help you. Speak up.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (25 April 2010):
You don't trust him, he said that if you were near him he would have beaten you and your scared of him... WHY are you ASKING anyone what to do??? LEAVE HIM, distance yourself and take whatever cautions are warranted. THis is NOT a healthy relationship, go find a man who knows how to treat you!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 In love, there should be no fear. If you are fearful of him , it means that he is not the right one. You deserve some one better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): Do not contact him anymore. Run from him. Go to the police. Protect yourself. No good can come from staying with a man like this.
Thousands of women end up dead every year from situations similar to yours. Your life is precious, my love. Don't let a punk take it from you.
Best of luck,
XOXO
Diosa
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Alright, I absolutely hate the thought of abusive relationships. A relationship is supposed to be about love laughter and happiness and occasional fights and arguments which is totally healthy and normal. But it should never lead to anything violent. So i'd definitely run away from a relationship like that in the beginning before i suffer worse consequences in the future.
But also it could've been a spur of the moment thing. He could have just been so mad that it just came out without thinking. People make mistakes. But since you say he has a temper and you feel that it's escalating to violence..I'd back away from that environment. Hope I've helped. Good luck
-A.E
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