A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to do. my boyfriend 5 years made me move to the states with my two kids telling me storys like we gonna get married and so on. it didnt happen yet the marriage but yesterday i just found out that i am pregnant.today i was all excited to go to the hospital and see how far i am and before i left he sat me down and said that i should think about it real good. he is not telling me what to do but since we are in a financial low right now we wont be able to afford another kid. which i belive there is always a way! also another kid would mess up our relationship ( he messed up a lot with a lots of lies he told me ) so basicly he is trying to talk me into abortion...i am stuck here dont know what i should do i want to keep the baby!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for a answer but i have to add that I am the one working a well paid job which is bringing us from month to month and he is not at the moment..we have personal issues that came out to the light after i came here..come february he is having a job also ... After my calculations we will be able to make it ... I personally think and knowing him he is just way too scared about new situations...we sat down and talked about it..but he is stock in his mind that he dont want a baby after saying before he would love to have a baby... We are both to blame for of course...we made the decission to have unprotected sex..but i am also thinking we are old enough (31 & 31 ) to take responsibilitys for our action.... I am just stock with him thinking the way he is and the way i am...i dont know what to do about that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012): There seem to be several things going on here and none make it sound like a stable relationship..You say he 'made' you move, he's lied to you, not married you as promised and now your pregnant and he says you can't afford another baby.
I think you need to listen to him, he I take it is the provider and is already keeping you and your 2 children. I agree if a baby comes along unplanned and is wanted and loved,you can cope. But you have a situation here where your both on different pages.
I agree with Aunt Honesty.You need to talk again, at length, and soon, see if there is a compramise. A baby in a home filled with a bad atmosphere is no good for anyone.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2012):
 I can understand both points of view here. You don't want to get rid of your baby and he does not think you can both afford it. I guess you both just need to sit down and think about this realistically. Come up with a plan to see if there is anyway you can both afford the extra addition to the family. Don't just automatically feel like you can manage it because sometimes it does not work that way. But sit down sensibly and look at things you can cut back on to save money and if there are any better paying jobs available.
However if you and him are not in a good place at the moment and you cannot trust him a baby is going to add extra pressure to you both, this is something you need to both sit down and work out. Because a baby should be born in to a loving home, and you both need to work on your problems. Sit down tell him how you feel and try and work out a plan. Good luck and all the best.
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