A
female
age
36-40,
*eg2121
writes:i am in the most horrible situation possible, i never thought i would e ever be in a screwed up situation like this. I have been with my boyfriend for four years and love him more than anything in this world. About two months ago I told him that I needed more attention from him and needed him to be more open with me, and didn't see any change. I met a guy at a resturant which I had met once before, and exchanged numbers, one thing led to another and I slept with him. The worst mistake I have ever made in my entire life. About two weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant and don't know who the father is. I told my boyfriend of four years about everything, and by the grace of God he still wants to work things out and be together. We can't figure out what to do about the baby. I want to have it and it be ours no matter what the results are, but he wants to get a dna test done which you can do while the baby is still inside the mothers womb, and if it comes up not his to have an abortion. I can't even imagine having an abortion it brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it. What do I do? PLEASE
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male
reader, mrflip +, writes (19 January 2009):
You should break up with him and decide for yourself what you want to do with the baby. It's really unfair for him to raise a child that isn't his, but you shouldn't be pushed into anything you don't want to do. Better to just end it. It sounds like it wasn't working out anyways.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): hey, wow awful situation. i suggest before you even get all worried about an abortion have the dna test done. if the baby is his then alls good, if not thats when you have to make the decision whats more important this child or him. no one can make this decision for you it will be the biggest and most difficult one you will ever make. but you should guess that if the baby isnt his and you do keep it, you will lose him.
you need to ask yourself what would your biggest regret be?? as you could not have the baby and you and him may break up anyway at a later stage. or you could live happily ever after and children of your own one day.
OR
you keep the baby, he leaves and enjoy your child and being a mother. or you keep it he realises he loves you too much to go and raises it with you.
thats pretty much all the outcomes you just need to decide what means more to you.
good luck with what ever you decide xxx
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A
female
reader, TeenageWorrier  +, writes (17 January 2009):
 Ok, I might seem insignificant cause I'm 'only a teenager' but please please please don't get the abortion if you're not happy about it. If he doesn't want to help bring up someone else's child, then that's his problem.
Have a long think about it and if you want to keep the baby, then please keep it, don't let him control you.
let me know how it goes xx
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (17 January 2009):
 OK, im gonna be an a hole guy and look at it from his view. You cheated and got pregnant, if its not his why should he have to raise it if you guys stay together? I dont blame him for feeling that way. But you have to do whats right for you and the baby. I can tell you an abortion is not a good idea having been through it with my girl when we were younger. We both felt really lousy for a long time after. Basically you have to decide whether to keep the baby or adopt it out. Then you also have to tell the father about it so he can have a say if he wants it or not before you would give it up if you do. Yes, if you keep it you may lose your guy. But that cant be an issue. What you want is what you need to find out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): To be honest, obviously he doesn't want to bring up another Man's child
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A
male
reader, heartshatter +, writes (17 January 2009):
get the abortion
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): do not let him force you into something you do not want to do. this is YOUR child whether or not it is his-and if it isn't his, he has no right to order you to kill it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): It's entirely up to you, and no one should force this one you.
But don't forget to consider what your boyfriend might also go through, if you decide to keep the baby he'll forever have to live with the result of your actions and look after another man's child. If he loves you and if those 4 years meant anything to him it'll tear him apart from the inside everytime he's carrying your child, everytime he looks at it - are you going to make him go through this? If you decide to keep the baby don't expect for him to stay.
You clearly don't want an abortion and lose this child. By having an abortion you may forever feel guilt, and you'll never forgive yourself for letting it happen. I say keep it, relationships can come and go but losing a life can never be replaced.
Remember don't expect your relationship to work out.
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A
female
reader, amaette  +, writes (17 January 2009):
go ahead and ve the dna test, if the baby is his good for u,but if the baby is not his let him know how you feel about having an abortion.if he still insist you must do it then it's up to you to decide.don't let anyone force you to do something you will end up regretting.
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