A
female
age
30-35,
*ottDesiLover
writes:Im a little confused about some stuff..I lost it to my boyfriend who i really love about two months ago.. and from those times... when we've had sex.. he cums but i havent had an orgasm yet..im nto surprised since this is my first time having sex but ..he wants to make me cum and he says he's made other girls cum from intercourse....when i finger myself or rub myself i can give myself an orgasm by just rubbing my clitbut when i fingermyself, i know i hit my g-spot and it feels liek i have to pee and all and i keep going at it and it feels incredible sometimees. Two times i felt like i might've been having a g-spot orgasm.. but i dont think i did even though i see a bit of clear liquid and i become very aroused and wet..HOW DO i know if im having one?.. i kno that not all girls cum.. so if it feels incredibly pleasureable but i dont come is it an orgasm??!1what is it supposed to feel like??? im pretty in tune with my body but this has cunfused me a bit..im really confused.. i want to know .. and if he'd really can give me an orgasm by just intercourse
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2008):
 The previous posters are all correct, of course; most women do NOT orgasm through intercourse alone, clitoral stimulation is almost always necessary. My guess is that the girls he's been with before have most likely lied to try to keep him happy.
Is he around the same age as you? He may not have a good grasp on female sexuality, or at least not as good an understanding as he might think he does. It may take some time for him to get to really understand female sexual response, and you need to be sure to be in tune with your own body and what you need/like/want to be able to enjoy sex, and then be able to share that with him in a way that won't threaten his new-found masculinity.
Just be gentle and patient with him, stop him if he is hurting you, guide him to what feels good for you. Encourage him with non-verbal and verbal communication when he's doing the right things. He'll learn eventually!
And don't do anything you're not comfortable with, ever. Dont let him make you feel inadequate if you don't orgasm through intercourse alone, hlskitten is correct in the numbers here.
And always, always, safe sex, protect yourself from STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Be smart!
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 No he's not right. Only 30% of women will orgasm through intercourse alone.
70% need clitoral stimulation.
If a lot of women have done, thats he's been with before, the chances are, they have faked it. Which a higher percentage of women do than actually orgasm just through intercourse. Not something he will like hearing though hehe
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Not many women can have orgasms from intercourse - some can, but not many. Let your boyfriend know this. He needs someone to break his bubble because if he's saying all his previous partners have had orgasms from intercourse then chances are at least some are faking it because... Well to be blunt - because he isn't very good. Tell him that you're figuring out what you like and if wants you to orgasm then he's going to have to put the effort in.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Dear, most women have clitoral orgasm and just a few have the vaginal one. Don't let anybody make you beleive that is something wrong with you if you don't get an orgasm just from intercourse. And you might get it but not every time and especially not for the first time you have sex. It is possible that your anatomy (the physical shape of your sexual organs) to not be quite compatible with your partner's anatomy and to not be able to get a clitoral orgasm without manual or other kind of direct stimulation, and that can be done during intercourse by your partner or by you. If he's made other girls cum from intercourse maybe their anatomies were more compatible or the girls more experienced or he lied to make you think is not his fault you didn't have an orgasm. The orgasm for a woman is a very complex reaction involving your mind and all your body. Usually when a man knows how to do it properly the woman gets orgasm. The orgasm is much more that a physical reaction and there are many factors involved. Probably your partner is inexperienced too, so is nothing to worry about and in any case is nothing wrong with you. I'm sure with a bit of experience and a proper communication between partners you will get fantastic pleasure. Men think they know everything about it but the truth is they don't so if we don't tell them what we want and what feels plesurable they can't guess. If you have orgasm when you finger yourself and you are in tune with your body just tell him what your body needs to feel pleasure. But not forget the mind and the fact that he has to get you in "the mood" first. And while having sex just enjoy it and don't think that you have to have an orgasm. Being stressed about it you will sure fail to have one. And explain to your partner that he doesn't have to think of that either, if he will be stressed about it and thinking his only aim is to give you an orgasm because otherwise you will think he is not good enough, he will not be able to give you an orgasm. Just learn to enjoy sex without thinking at the end, sex can be enjoyable with or without an orgasm. And when all the stress will be gone, then it will happen! The most extraordinar human pleasure that makes life worth living. Of course there are many enjoyable things in life but if you can't enjoy sex you don't feel complete.
Other thing might be that you were not psychologically ready to have sex with a partner even you can get pleasure by masturbation. Think about it and if you think you are ready to try again do it, if not just wait a couple of years. Is nothing wrong if a 16 years old girl doesn't have sex.
Don't let anybody push you into something that you are not ready for just because everybody is doing it or because is cool.
Best of luck! and what ever you decide has to be your decision.
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