A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello my boyfreind of six and a half years told me that he has fallen out of love with me a bit cause of the way i am but we had sex and he said he is back in love with me if i change will we be ok please help important Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 That is conditional love which in essence, really isn't love at all. What he wants isn't who you are. You cannot stop yourself from being a more dominant person, giving him more space however is completely reasonable if you do see each other all the time so maybe that is all he needs as opposed to requiring a complete personality change from you.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 ok so your personality is one of domination and he's asking you to alter fundamental personality traits.do you WANT to be different? because that's a hard thing to change
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe wants me to change cause i am domaneering and i used to tell him what to do and used to ask him what time is he going to be back from his mates and he said if i can do this he will start having feelings for me i dont think he wants to break up with me cause he would have did it before instead of asking me to change for him he just wants 2 day space at his house cause we are 2gether 24 7 and we see each other all the time
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 April 2011):
Ok so he says he loves you but only if you change to become what he wants?doesn't sound like love to me...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): it sounds to me like there's a lot more going on here than just you two having sex and him suddenly loving you again. you have been together a very long time. he's probably unhappy but reluctant to leave the relationship because you two have been together for over six years. maybe you're not meeting his needs? has he been expressing problems that you've been ignoring, etc? he probably wants to find reasons to stay because you have been together so long. you need to ask yourself, is what he's asking you to change, something that you really do need to change for the better in your relationship? i hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (21 April 2011):
Sex doesn't re-ignite suddenly re-ignite love unless that 'love' was lacking in much needed depth. What exactly does he mean by "the way you are"? What sort of change does he desire?
To be honest, I doubt this relationship will be okay. After six years he tells you he has fallen out of love with you? Do you know how long he has really been feeling that way? What is keeping him with you then and why is sex the only thing that supposedly rekindles his love for you? How drastically is he asking you to change?
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 He fell in love with a tomato and now he want you to change into a cucumber?
What does he mean, he wants you to change?
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A
male
reader, Dathagen +, writes (21 April 2011):
The real question is one that you have to ask yourself..... and when i say ask yourself, i really mean you have to ask yourself, not just respond.
The question is, Is there any truth to what he means? Do you think you need to change the way you are if he was not your BF?
I have re-invented myself many times as a result of other people's critiques of me. In some instances, They were right about me, in other instances, they just wanted me to be differrent to suit them. If the way you are is inappropriate, then by all means take steps to improve yourself if thats something you want to do, regardless of the outcome of the relationship, you have grown from the experience. If you look deep inside yourself and know yourself to be a good soul and your behaviour, Then examin his motives for wanting you to change. If it seems he just wants you to be more the way he desires,,,,, RUN!
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