A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend just broke up with me. He just said one day that he didn't love me anymore. Then he just started being really mean to me. His whole personality changed and he tried to kick me out of his house. I couldn't believe he was being so callous. I didn't leave because I didn't want him talking to me that way which just pissed him off even more. We had had a couple of arguments before it happened but I didn't think it would kill his interest in me altogether. He had told me he would always love me. But he didn't. What's worse is that it was right before his birthday. Even after that happened, he called me and asked me (and kind of guilted me) to join him for his birthday. I felt I should and I also felt that we could reconcile anyway since I was having a hard time accepting the recent and sudden change of heart and meanness toward me. He basically ignored me for the majority of his birthday. I didn't understand why he even asked me to come. I thought I should leave. I said something to that extent which set him off and he started arguing with me. Then he had me kicked out of his house (again). But this time he got his family involved. I couldn't believe it. I was so humiliated. I begged him to talk to me because I didn't want to leave like that and I didn't want to argue. He said he never wanted to see me again and I got kicked out on the street crying with make up running. I had to call a friend to come get me I was so upset. I am not perfect and I have gotten mad with him. I have been unreasonable at times but I have never been this callous. And I never just stopped loving him.Some people have suggested that maybe he met someone else. Pretty sure he didn't because up until that point we were together all the time. That doesn't add up.I already know what I have to do. Obviously I have to move on. I just don't understand what happened?! I am so confused...help
View related questions:
broke up, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): It may a long time (if ever) before you understand why, but one thing is fairly certain. He didn't just fall out of love with you overnight. This has been building for some time. He likely didn't say anything before because he wasn't sure, didn't want to break up only to regret it later and/or didn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings. Maintaining the facade began to wear on him and he lashed out in frustration.Refusing to leave his home when he told you to was very poor judgment on your part, regardless of the reason. The second time you allowed the situation to escalate to the point that his family had to become involved. A guest should never wear out their welcome. Inviting you to celebrate his birthday so soon after such a traumatic break up was very poor judgment on his part. He probably thought you understood that it was over and were willing and able to just be friends. That was foolish of him. Instead it gave you, as it would anyone, the false hope that a reconciliation was imminent.From what you've described his treatment of you does seem immature and callous. Instead of taking the bull by the horns and ending the relationship with grace, he chose to wait until he was angry and combative.For your own well being I suggest you block him for now. Give yourself time to regroup. Grieve then move on.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 People can fall out of love... it happens... and it really sucks.
I know that does nothing to help with the whole closure aspect, but it could just be that simple.
...............................
|
