Boyfriend said he doesn't feel guilty about cheating or lying to me!

A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My bf of 2 years told me he cheated on me with his ex in October. He told me right after it happened and asked me to pleas forgive him please lets try to make this work. I called her and she tells me jhow this is the only time she crossed the line with him. She didn't the othe times because she knew we were together. I thought. Wow other times. So I confronted him and he didn't do orate or explain. Just sorry I love you. So a week or do went by and while I was devastated I desperately needed to understand why he would do this. He said he was drunk and mad at me. I knew that wasn't the truth. So some time later I ask him if he is still regularly having contact with her.he said no naturally only to find out that he had indeed been continuing To talk with her. Give her money when she needed it. Ietc. All that stuff. So at Christmas he invites me to his friends dads house. This friend is this ex's brother do naturally she will be there. I said so he said no she probably won't be there. I find out that he in fact had talked to her about being there. And how he has gifts for them etc....I told him it was completely insulting and unusual that he would expect me to be ok with it. He said he understood and my feelings were important. Etc. new years rolls around I go to his house for a little party and we get in another beef. Again about him talking to her. So I left about 4 am. It started with why doesn't he want to have sex anymore. This had become a regular topic over the last few weeks. He the same unbelievable excuses. I do want u. I always do bla blah. These were just words his actions were what concerned me. So he comes over and calls her to tell her he won't be contacting her anymore it was through between then and he loves me. But I could tell he didn't want to even it being his idea to call her. Which I'm certain later he called at explained that he was covering his bases. So it doesn't get better his distance grows and then I discover that he has this obsessive compulsion for porn. Which don't get me wrong I like to watch it from time to time but it isn't a lifestyle. We got into a discussion about why everytime he comes over and I assume we will have sex I discover that he watched porn all afternoon before coming over. I was hurt by the idea that he needed that to be aroused. He said I will be more considerate to ur feelings I am sorry. It was words again because nothing changed. He rarely called me anymore and he would forget about plans he made with me. We went out for a couple drinks with some other managers of the company we both work for. It's retail. I a manager he is an assistant the other people were also managers. So after the night was over he brings me home and I thought he would come In. Nope he says I know ur tired and have to work early. I said why would you assume that. He says ur right I shouldn't assume. We begin to have anoter argent about his actions and what is really happening. I bring up a comment he had made before we left about how gas was getting really expensive and he wouldn't be able to see me as often. And we were only seeing each other maybe once a week. He was "tired" the other days and not used to the earlier shifts. I was insulted and hurt that he would even say something like that. To me he wasn't acting like he even wanted to see me ever. I told him do. He said I am wrong bout that. So he ends up leaving and i again am left feeling empty and confused. We go on a party bus with his roommates and had a generally good time even though he didn't want to dance or be in a good mood. He kept wanting to go outside. So we would and at the end of the night on the way back he had this weird look on his face. We get back to his house and there are just a few of us left and this gal sings a song you know you want me...rigt in front of me he says to her God yeah how do u know that. I was so insulted that he would do that right In front of me. Another fight. I leave and I know this is bad. Valentines dy rolls around he talks about how he is going to take me to this nice restaurant that I'd been talking about. So he didn't naturally he didn't even call me I called him at like 230. He said he would be over at my house at like 4. He called at 6 saying he was at the store and would be over shortly. Another argument actions vs. words. So it all comes to a head one day when I discover some more concrete evidence that he had been pursuing this ex of his all along. I broke up with him. Told him it was over and he might as well come clean about all of it an he did in a text message. He said that he still loved her and they have a history together. I asked him what he was keeping me around for he replied I wanted to be with u too. It was really that she only wants sex with him when she isn't seeing anyone else and he wanted to keep me on the side so when that didn't come together I wa still there. Plan b until something else came along. He said I'm wrong it isn't true. Etc etc. I knew it was then I asked him if he felt bad at all about lying to me the whole time and he said no I didn't. I wanted to have sex with her and I didn't care if it hurt u. Then later as I was trying to gain some understanding on the entirety of it. I asked him what was his goal in this. He said I don't know Ivan selfish. He also said that he didn't ever love me that he was fooling himself. He was fantasizing about women at work and customers and trying to be physical with them also. It just kept coming at me like a fist to the stomach every word he said. I can't believe he went to all those lengths to try to make me believe he loved me when it was all crap. He was te first to say I love u. I wouldn't say it because I am guarded until he kept saying I love you. I won't hurt you I promise I won't. It's safe give it a chance. And it was all complete lies. He was talking about getting married and opening up a business together. So now I know the extent of the deceit and am devastated that I didnt catch on sooner. I found out he was in hotel rooms 150 miles away just very recently and he is now back to having sex with his ex while she is single of course only. .

View related questions: at work, broke up, cheated on me, christmas, drunk, his ex, I love you, money, porn, roommate, text

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