A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay well i've been dating this guy for about 3 months and about a week ago we finally made it official. Lately though things he's been doing have been bothering me such as if I were to tell him about how my boss at work was stressing me out he would reply with "welcome to the workforce :P" or some other sarcastic remark which is kiiiinda unecessary when a person is trying to vent. And then we only get to see each other once a week or so which is hard enough due to school and my work schedule during the day and he plays poker with his friends during the night. So to try and compensate I would try things like sexting with him, only for him to get bored, go use the bathroom and then forget. And the other day I asked him to talk on the phone later (we always just text) and he agreed, and after waiting an hour later he texts that he's going downtown to play poker and he's sorry. No effort to even reschedule and no word about it the next day. Since we dont get to see each other as often as we'd like I try and do litte spontaneous things like buying him little presents, writing letters and just reassuring him that I care in general. He does basically nothing though, my birthday came around earlier this month and he kept saying he would get something but when the day came he showed up empty handed saying that he couldnt think of anything to get. Was a balloon or a cheap little card or even a candy bar too much??Basically, having a once a week relationship is taking a toll on me. Well it feels like it since 6/7 days of the week its just casual conversation :[
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): sounds like he's just not that into you.
does he enjoy your company when you do see each other? or does he get annoyed with you?
what I don't get is you say he behaves so uninterested, yet a week ago is when you made the relationship 'official'. This makes no sense. Did you pressure him to agree to making this relationship 'official'? I mean, was it your idea to make this relationship official and he just went along passively saying OK? cos it sounds like he's been pretty passive in this relationship in general so I can't imagine he would actually want to make it "official" or that this status even means anything to him. in other words, someone who puts no effort at all into a relationship, wouldn't care if it became "official" because not caring is the definition of putting no effort in. So then whose idea was it that this relationship is now "official"?
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 August 2011):
 i am sorry, there is no nice way to say this - he just isn't into you :( if he was he would not dare to behave so disinterested in you coz he would be scared that you would dump him. i bet he wouldn't even try to stop you if you said you wanted to break up with him. why not put him to the test? talk to him - tell him that you feel so neglected that its making you wonder whether you should stay together
its early days but in a way that makes it more worrying coz the start of a relationship is supposed to be the most exciting where you want to see each other as much as you can, text a lot, talk a lot, its only usually further on where you feel you can relax into it and have more space apart
x
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