A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello. was wondering if anyone could help me?i went to a houseparty saturday just gone and there was a boy there who i normaly come across when i go down that area of the town, hes a year younger than me 18 and we used to go to comp together, the one whos party it was is both our friends. me and this boy we'l call him 'jon' have feelings for eachother, its very obvious apparently but we only ever talk when were out drinking with our mutual freinds, he has text me a few times over the years but hasnt for a while so i assumed he was no longer intertested in me. this saturday at the house party he seemed different,more mature. he kept sitting by me and followed me out everytime i went for a smoke. after a few drinks he went in for a kiss so i gave him just a little peck. after a few more drinks he asked me out!!! i was blown away! i so very much wanted to say yes! but i new that it wasnt the right time to make desicions because we had both been drinking so i said ask me in the morning, he kept tellin me he really liked me and that hes always liked me..he also said on one occasion that he 'loved hated' me?? anyway both of us ended up staying the night at my friends and we shared a bed but did nothing more than kiss and cuddle but i have to mention he kept nagging me to sleep with him or for oral? i kept refusing and he finally gave up. the next morning i was gutted because he didnt ask me out? but he was still all over me like hugging me and touching me. he hasnt got any texts and i know he isnt lieing there because my friend told me herself but he could have got in touch in other ways such as facebook or email?? so i decided to mail him saying that i had a really nice night with him and i put a kiss at the end. ive known him for years and he is known to treat girls badly and not stay in realtionships for very long at all,but i think my feelings are growing by the day for him and i hate myself for it cos i think he might have just used me for that evening?? help me girls and boys!! it would be awesome if you could give me some advice soon , thanks xx
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (25 August 2011):
 saying yes over a text is good enough i think, just be careful not to rush into things though if you do start dating. getting carried away is the WORST thing you can do. the people who are more successful and happy in relationships are the ones who are able to keep their feet on the ground, not the mad-romantic ones!
good luck!
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionangelDlite..
if he does get in contact and asks me out then should i say that i want him to ask me face to face? or just say yes via text?
another thing to mention which in my mind suggests he would be a rather controlling bf is...
me and my friends man were having a debate over some topic and jon turned the television up real loud..
then i was speaking to another boy about his job and he kept looking but then when i was looking at him he was looking away,then he got up and started trying to win all the limelight... or was he just trying to impress me??
also another thing when we were hugging in bed he said;
see this is what ive wanted to do with you,just cuddle up and watch telly. (inside,i was thinking the exact same thing,he such a cuddley guy,like body wise.)
i just want him to text me lol!!!!x
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (25 August 2011):
yes that's EXACTLY why! i have been there so many times! you just really need to slow down - look at his actions (and i don't just mean how affectionate he is) i mean the effort (or lack of) that he puts into seeing you or contacting you - actions speak louder than words - that is VERY TRUE.
don't get swept off your feet, tempting though it is. coz that puts you in a very vulnerable position and will have you doing what he wants when he wants it. not good!
don't be a pushover and if you get the sense that he is treatin you mean to keep you keen - see this as a red flag coz it means you will never have the upper hand in the relationship
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you. you have a point i am falling or more to the point have fallen for him,and its totally not like me to fall in deep so quickly! im normaly really hard to get and as you said they have to work to earn my trust and eventually a date or more, but this one is somewhow really pulling my heart strings,i just want him here.
i know from the deepth of my heart we are very similar people and i know we actually wouldn't make a very good couple but i honestly couldnt care, i just need to be with him. i feel sick thinking about him,do you think i just feel all this because i let my wall down way to soon and that i just feel over exposed?? boooo
hooo,xx
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (24 August 2011):
just calm down. you are falling too much for this guy and he has not even done anything to deserve it!! he was pestering you for sex and BJ, this is NOT good behaviour. good on your for not giving in to his demands though. if he likes you and was not just after sex he will contact you. if you don't hear from him you will know he has not got feelings for you. you did a nice thing by sending him that message. the ball is in his court now, wait and see what happens. don't chase him. don't put yourself on a plate for him. you are worth more than that so make him EARN a date with you
x
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A
female
reader, Sanieblue +, writes (24 August 2011):
Dont waste your energy on this boy for one more second he is not interested and would have used you and you would have felt ten times worse. When you are young you have to be careful to weed out the users from the good guys and when you find a good guy you will be glad you were not another notch on this guys belt.........
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