A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 8 years proposed! It was a complete shock. We had talked about getting married in the future and joked about it, but I wasn't expecting a proposal! I definitely love him, but I feel more anxious and embarrassed than excited. I literally didn't know what to say when he asked me. I said yes (how could I say anything else? We've been together for nearly a decade). Are feelings like this normal? Do you think its just the shock that's making me feel unsure? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 February 2016):
 If you are anxious and unsure, shocked and unaware that your boyfriend of 8 years might propose marriage.... well, why is that?
If you are feeling anxious and embarrassed, find out why. Is it because you don't really see yourself with boyfriend in the long term? Or is it because you were caught off guard. After 8 years though, being caught "off guard" seems a flimsy reason for so much distress.
Do you love and like and respect this boyfriend enough to start a future with him? Forsake all others? If not, then let him go. Eight years is plenty of time to decide, ya know?
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (1 February 2016):
 Marriage is a BIG step. Even though you've been together for 8 years getting marriage is nearly the same as forming a business contract. Your relationship suddenly becomes a joining of not only living quarters, but money and assets. Also, the government suddenly has a say in it when / if you do break-up.
I think just about everyone is nervous about tying the knot and if you weren't at least a little anxious, I would think you might be a little too happy-go-lucky.
I would take some time to sort out your feelings. What is holding you back? Why do you feel the way you do?
You may also find it useful to talk to a therapist or another trusted friend to help sort out your feelings. Sometimes hearing your own thoughts out loud can help you rationalize or expose your inner fears.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 January 2016):
 I think it's odd that you feel unsure after 8 year, to be honest. UNLESS marriage was not one of plans for the future, and you say it was something talked about before. I'd say after 8 years you should know if this is the guy you want to marry or not.
What are your reason for the hesitation?
Why the feeling of embarrassment?
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