A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi EveryoneMy 25yr old boyfriend of 2 years simply refuses to tell me he loves me. I think the last time he said those words was on the first 2 months of our relationship, its been 2 years now and it's really bothering me. I dont want him to say it all the time, but i really need to hear it once in a while. I would sometimes say I love you and he would just say "Ok" and that frustrates me so much. I have tried talking to him about it, he said he doesn't like saying it coz he never got used to saying it on his past relationships and he doesnt want me to force him to say it, he will say it when hes ready...but like i said, its been 2 years and hes still not ready?He treats me right and all but I just need to hear those words :-( We have gotten in a fight about this, to a point where i threatened to find someone else who will tell me they love me. He got upset and left then called and said "I dont want you to find someone else, I love u"So basically he never says it, he said it now because of what i said I'll do. What should I do, i have tried talking to him. Am i being selfish or is he?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 IF it's a mandatory thing for you then you know what you need and you need to walk away.My ex husband said I love you easily... too easily... sometimes I doubted those words... because what he did showed me he did NOT love me...my current partner... WARNED me early on... "I can't say 'I love you'" and I heard him. I just told him "sometimes a girl likes to hear it ya know"... but it's a limitation of his I have opted to accept for several reasons:1. he told me he would not say it2. I have on rare RARE occasions heard him say it3. He's been known to say "I l-word you" 4. He does love me and I know this by the way he acts. In fact, if you were to ask me who in my life has ever loved me the most it would be the current partner... In all seriousness... the ONE man who CAN'T or WON'T say "I love you" is the ONLY one who I truly believe does love me....sometimes we have to choose our battles carefully....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): Actions speak louder than words, trust me on this one! I have a guy who tells me all the time he loves me but he doesnt act like he does. So if this guy is treating you good then thats all you need to know.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 He has all the right in the world to feel unready to say it. He said it once before but now he thinks he isn't ready to say it again. At least you know he does feel very strongly about you and that is worth a lot.
Isn't it better to stay with him. A man who knows how he feels about you, who treats you well and takes time with the relationship so it may grow properly and powerfully? Rather than find a man who tells you that he loves you in the first year or so and ends up disappointing you horribly? You should take time in relationships, don't rush it otherwise, it will crumble. Him taking his time to say "I love you" shows you that when he DOES say it, it actually means something rather than in rushed relationships where they simply grow accustomed to saying it even if they don't really mean it anymore.
I hope that helps.
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