A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having an issue with my boyfriend of about a year now. We haven't had sex in about a month and he says it's because I'm sensitive down there since it hurts when we have sex. He said he's just tired of that happening so he doesn't want to even try to have sex with me anymore. He just has this I don't care attitude and it makes me feel like he doesn't care to work it out and try to make things better. It makes me frustrated and feel like he doesn't care about our relationship. Any advice on what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 You feel he doesn't care and well I think he feels that he doesn't want to hurt you. Sex should not be painful and if it is then you need to go see your doctor as their must be something wrong. Off course he doesn't want to have sex, why would he if it is going to hurt you. Be thankful he is thinking off you and not just himself. Make an appointment with your doctor and explain the issue, you need to get yourself checked out honey.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2017): As a guy, I can tell you there's no bigger turn off than when the girl isn't enjoying/wanting it as much as you. Imagine having to do it when it's physically hurting her.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 March 2017):
 You need to see your gynecologist. It is not normal that sex hurts.
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A
female
reader, Campari Milano  +, writes (6 March 2017):
OK, so the first thing is to find out why it hurts. Is it that you may have a urinary tract infection, or a yeast infection, or any other type of problem? Or could it be something as simple as lack of foreplay/lubrication? Seriously, does he make sure you are ready to go, or just assumes you are and rams it in?
If it is an infection of some kind, it's your responsibility to sort it out. You may have given him something in the process!
If it's the latter, you need to explain to him that you are not just a f**k-jar and you need to be stimulated.
Either way, talking to us is pointless. Relationships are all about communication and trust. Be honest with him and encourage him to do the same. Tell each other how you feel. If you don't, it won't last.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): Well, how do you usually respond when things are getting painful? Do you say something like "hun, that's hurting, can we try a different position" or do you scream bloody murder and tell him to stop? Because if it is the latter, I can understand that he may be frustrated and getting gun-shy about starting up when he knows he will be shot down in the middle of things. Have you always experienced pain? Or is this new? Have you consulted a doctor and tried to get it resolved? Is he your first and you are still just acclimatizing to sex and if so give it more time and it will improve. I think that he sounds a little insensitive at this point. Again, we are missing a lot of the context so it is hard to say if his reaction is out of line. Couldn't you two do other things if penetrative sex hurts too much? You could fool around, etc...if he isn't even interested in that I would be wondering if he is getting ready to break up and/or cheating.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 March 2017):
 Go see your Gyno?
It's not your BF's job to make it all better. It's your body. Talk to your doctor/Gyno and figure out what it can be.
I think your BF is just frustrated and not very good at explaining it. I think the "I'm tired of trying" is him saying he is tired of feeling like HE is hurting you. He doesn't WANT to hurt you.
If he didn't care he would have dumped you.
So GO see your doctor, get a referral to a gyno. Get a checkup and STD panel done. See what comes of it.
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