A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hello everyone, im having a problem with my boyfriend whom lives with me. we have been together for years and years since and we are our very early twenty's. and this is the first place we have both lived other than home... we live in my moms rental property for half rent which i pay and he pays the water gas and electric. this works out fairly good for us but we have had some major fights where i have threatened to kick him out and made him leave which i know is very very wrong of me to do being as he has no place else to go. dont get me wrong he has family he could stay with and has a pretty good job so he wouldnt be homeless or anything but i know it hurts him when i do this. now he has gotten to the point where he wont even argue back or say how he feels in fear of me kicking him out and its drving me crazy. i feel like im with a child who doesnt want to disrespect me or something. and i also feel like his mom because i buy him almost everything he has which i could care less about the spending money part but its like he depends on it and he will ask me for money and hint around at say a video game he wants. i just feel like hes my son and not a twenty two year old man. and i tried telling him all this but all he can say is he doesnt want to get kicked out,and that makes me feel awful that hes scared so much. so i suggested maybe him getting his own apartment and us living seperately for a while so we can work on our relationship and so he can grow up some and quit depending on me so much but he flipped and said no way and now i dont know what to do. i love him so vrey much and want nothing more than to make this work, any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 August 2011):
Why don't you print a copy of this question? Then, you and your "B/F" go your separate ways for a year.....
IN August of 2012, take out this letter and see if you've grown up any. IF the answer is "yes," and IF this guy will consent to see you again.... then you are on your way...
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (25 August 2011):
You're being used financially. You say he has a good job, so why is he asking you for money and why are you paying for his 'stuff'? Of course he flipped out at the thought of moving out. He would then have to pay his own rent, food and he wouldn't be able to drain you financially for little things.
I know you may not want to hear this, but there is nothing that will save your relationship. There is a reason why finances/money are the number one reason for divorce, or in your case relationship. You're with a selfish person with no character when it comes to money. Find yourself a real man that can stand on his own two feet and treat you like a woman instead of a piggy bank.
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