A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey guys, i am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 16. We've been seeing each other for just over a year and about 6 months ago we had sex for the first time and it was his first time. even though it was his first time, he lasted longer than most and he had me in a lot of pain. this is because of the size of his penis. it has to be at least 10 inches. this night was the first time i ever saw it so i was surpirsed but i didnt think it would be so bad. anyway, since then we've had sex quite a lot and it isnt getting any easier. im get really sore down there but he just doesnt care and he just wants to go again and again. so my first question is; is this just a stage he is going through or will his sex drive always be this high?another thing he want to so is try anal!! ive told him no on several occasions but he just thinks its a joke. theres nothing wrong with my downstairs for him to want it to put it there he just thinks its what couples do. ive told him hes got no chance cos i think it will kill me lol. despite that, its happened once or twice where he has nearly "accidently" put it up there. hes even put his fingers up sometimes.how do i get him to realise that sex isnt just about what he wants? but at the same time how do i not scare him off to another girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help guys, especially "You Wish", i loved the dildo comment haha...i actually said that to him. i think he was just finding our boundries in the bedroom and i got serious with him and he was really sweet and apologised. its going really well and thankfully no anal for either of us...thanks again
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): Respect yourself and demand fair treatment. If he won't give you respect or runs off to someone else (who will let him not respect her instead) then you're better off without him.
The world is full of other guys with normal size penises who don't treat you like a living sex toy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): he needs to respect you. it's pretty inconsiderate of him to do these things once you've expressed it being something you're uncomfortable with. there needs to be a mutual respect of each others boundries. seems like he's missed that memo.
if i were you, i'd be a bit more forceful about it. next time he attempts to "accidentally slip it in there" turn around and whack him. lol. and let him know directly, no questions asked, that he will NOT be doing that with YOU. if that's not okay with him, then you need another boyfriend. one who will respect you, your body, and your limits.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): You tell him and you learn to say "no" sometimes. No offence OP but are you sure the ages aren't the other way around? Sounds like he owns you to be honest, you can't even say the word "no" to him and make him understand you mean it, he just laughs at you. A bit strange after a year of being with him OP that you haven't learned to exercise a bit more control and communicate your needs to him. You sound like a bit of a pushover, otherwise why would he laugh at you?
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 Tell him to lay off the porn, because you're not a sex toy! You have a say in what happens and how often. You're not a sex slave, so don't act like one! Fear is a terrible aphrodisiac.
Also, tell him that if he wants anal, he's going to first allow you to ram a 10 inch dildo into his anus for 20 minutes. I'm guessing he'll find it much less funny.
You must never feel pressured into doing something under the fear that he'll run off to another girl, and if he leaves because you won't do anal with him, he's worthless and you didn't want him anyways.
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