A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: Ok I need some other perspectives on this. My boyfriend is just my second sexual partner, so I'm not sure what to make of this. He's also 11 years older and way more experienced. Anyway, he's really good in bed compared to my first boyfriend. He lasts forever and knows how to make me orgasm, which is great. However, he always pulls out and cums on my boobs at the end. Is the porno finish just him satisfying a fetish or is it disrespecting me in a way? Sometimes he can't control it well and some gets on my face, which he says is "adorable". Is it normal for a guy to enjoy this so much? Am I reading too much into it? I feel like I may be in over my head in this relationship in general so I obsess about everything. Is this just normal "guy" behavior?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (11 April 2017):
Its not wrong if you like it as well, but if you don't then ask him to stop. I would have liked to have thought he would have asked you was it okay to begin with.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 April 2017):
Something else: you feel in over your head, which means you may be. You're still very young and 11 years is a big gap for this time in your life - at 30 and 41, it's not major, but 18 and 29 or 21 and 32 can have pretty monumental differences.
I also wonder why having it on your face would be "adorable". Some people find it "sexy", but I never hear "adorable" used.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 April 2017):
I'd hate it and tell my boyfriend to stop, but if you're okay with it, that's fine too.
To some people it's degrading and to others it's just part of their sex lives. If you like it, there's no reason to stop (except he should be wearing a condom inside you!), but if you don't like it, tell him to stop doing it. That kind of thing should always be asked about before doing, though, like not attempting anal without asking first.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 April 2017):
Personally, I don't think it's adorable... but I don't think it's uncommon either.
What it really comes down to like Auntie Chigirl and Cindy suggests, is whether YOU enjoy it or not.
Some don't mind, some like it, and some don't.
Ai if you are OK with it, it's "normal" for you two. If you aren't a fan, tell him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (10 April 2017):
That must be some sort of cultural thing ; I can see from similar questions to yours, that this a sexual behaviour that's often seen as " degrading " or " perverse " in certain countries.
In my decadent, hedonistic Southern European culture :)... it never was a big deal, even before than 20 or 30 years ago.
Of course the popularity of it has been widely enhanced by the diffusion of porn ( it 's not a coincidence that it is called the " money shot " ) but even way before porn-for-all people did it because they liked it and found it erotic and exciting. Those ( many ) who did find it such, of course. People who do not- do not have to do it, nor to let it be done to themselves.
As simple as that.
Do you like it ? Does it turn you on, or at least it does not bother / offend / displeases you ? Then fine- go ahead and enjoy. Does it bother you ? Then tell him to stop. I don't think you have to care what other women may feel about it, because it's not they having sex with your boyfriend , it's you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2017): The cumming on face/body thing got popular when porn became more common and mainstream. For some reason porn does it a lot.
Some guys are doing it for degrading reasons. Others are not.
Some guys like how its marking our territory. (Think of how you like to wear our T-shirt after sex.)
Some guys feel more accepted when you don't mind getting this "naughty" part of them on yourself. We have spilled it on our own bodies countless times from jacking off.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 April 2017):
Do you not like it? Then ask him to stop. It is important that you voice your opinion in bed, and not lower yourself to be some "mattress". This is YOU degrading yourself, if doing so. It's not degrading for him to do whatever to you, as long as YOU LIKE IT. But it becomes a problem if you do not VOICE YOUR OPINION and just let him do whatever he wants with you, despite you not liking it. But that's still not him degrading you, that's you degrading yourself.
I don't get what all this about "men degrading women in bed" is all about, though. It's impossible for a man to degrade a woman in bed. As long as they are two consensual adults, they are equal in bed. It is only in the cases of violence you would get anything like degrading into the game. Or in the case of you not voicing your opinion and thus degrading yourself.
And who cares if it's normal or not? The point, again, is that if you like you you enjoy it, and if you do not like it you make him stop. Sex isn't about doing everything the exact same way as all your peers. But I guess it's only natural for you to want to do everything like everyone else, because that's part of being a teenager. But as you grow older you will understand that what OTHERS do in bed, really does not matter att all when it comes to what YOU do in bed. Why do you care whether it's something your best friends boyfriend does to her or not? Do you want to start a swingers club or something? No? Then why does it matter whether other couples do this or not?
But for the reference, many people enjoy many different things in bed, and this isn't even scratching the surface of weird or different.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 April 2017):
This has become more normal, in my opinion, over the last 20 or 30 years. As long as he is attending to your needs as well then let him enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2017): The only thing that you need to consider her is this: do you like it? It's as simple as that. If the answer is yes, then all good. My partner fakes this sometimes and he loves it, as do I. There's nothing wrong or disrespectful about it, if you both enjoy it. However, if you don't like it or you feel disrespected etc then absolutely there is something wrong with it, and you should tell him how you feel and he should then stop this part of sex with you
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