A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If your bf got excited to see and meet up with his close female friends from college and things weren't going too great with your relationship, money was overly tight, you were living together and you were carrying him along on your wage until he got work - would that be a cause of concern for you? I am trying to understand my bf's reaction for what it trully is. I am also heavily pregnant with his baby. I understand my hormones might be causing me to be extra sensitive but basically one of his best female friends (who is single and the same age as him) said she was coming over to him here and would he be around? he wrote back woo-hoo sure I will send you my info :) she is also coming during which his birthday pretty much is so I guess she kinda planned it too. I wanted to do something special with him for his birthday and I feel these plans have now been upset cos now he has to meet up with them cos he hasn't seen them in months sort of thing. I feel a bit uncomfy to meet them but at least he offered me to come along. I said its nice your friends are looking out for you and all but I am worried we won't have money for you to trully enjoy yourself with them. He said everything is okay. I said but for now its not hence me getting so worried as its my crappy wages that have been keeping us alive. Then he goes oh she owes me money from college - perhaps she can take us out instead lol. She owes me. I want to be reasonable and balanced here in my assessment. I also want to be fair to him too and not be immature. I don't want to over-react in response but I currently have a hormone imbalance problem going on in my body that I have great difficulty controlling and the hospital here are trying to help me combat it. If you were the gf what would feel is the best thing to do in this scenario. I am all for people having their own friends...so that wasn't what bothered me. It was just his pure and utter excitement about them that made me actually wonder??
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): OK i can see a bit more of where u are coming from, and your right that is bound to get to you, hormonal or not. If she keeps flirting then maybe pull her up on it if it is really bothering you, the only thing about doing this though is that if she has got other intentions towards him, this might give her the incentive she needs to pounce (knowing that its bothering you.)
At the same time though she might just be a general flirt with everyone and not actually realize it, i think what you need to do here is see how he interacts with her, is he flirting back??
I would bring up the money situation again though as you have pointed out that he never brings you out but jumps at the chance with her, it might make him realize how his actions are effecting you, he might not be aware at all.
:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks - yes everything you have said makes perfect sense. I just think his behaviour and reaction made me go huh at it. Also she is currently single, well off money-wise and they had this kinda flirty friendship prior so I don't even know why I am remotely thinking that she could possibly pose a threat to the relationship. I think its really cos we are not getting on as well as we should be. I know she has a crush on him which he totally downplays. Even if he is just being friendly - its v hard not to wonder. I think there is a v fine line between friendly and flirty and I just feel v uncomfy meeting these ladies cos I think their intentions are more than friendship. Its good like you say that he offered to include me...so I shouldn't be worried and stuff but I don't feel he wants to show me off. He is just inviting me so it doesn't look dodgy. We haven't gone out properly in ages and I mean ages... due to a lack of money and she comes into town just once and its like oh yeah no probs...makes me feel horrible. Its like he is throwing this in my face and I can't for the life of me understand why?? if he was earning perhaps it wouldn't be such a big deal but I also feel uncomfy at the thoughts of this other woman paying for us too :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): I suppose if they were great friends in college and he hasn't seen her for awhile hes bound to be excited it doesn't mean he loves you any less, also when your pregnant all sorts of things run through your head (believe i know) but the fact that he has included you is a sure sign to me that he wants her to know that you are apart of his life and he wants to show you off. If you don'y get to spend the quality time together that you want on his birthday don't fret, you have all your lives together she is just passing through, let him have this birthday with her if he really wants to.
hope this has been of some help to you :)
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