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Finding it hard to trust him after only 2 weeks!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i'm starting a new relationship, we have been together only for 2 weeks and i'm really starting to have feelings for him. But the thing is that i am finding really hard to trust him. I don't think he's a cheater or anything but things have been a little too easy to be true. And saturday night we had this argument (not a real fight though) because he was acting kind of weird and distant. So he went out with his friends and i went out with mine. But he never told me he was going out, and i did told him i was going out with my friends and my cousins, cause i've got nothing to hide. I don't care if he goes out with his friends but why does he feel like he has to hide it from me? And then sunday morning i saw in his facebook that one of his friends told him something like: "last night was crazy dude, you crossed the line hahaha". I didn't mentioned that i saw that post because i don't want to come off like the typical insecure stalky kind of girlfriend but i don't know, i think it's weird he never told me he was going out, since i haven't showed any jealous behaviour. He lost his cellphone recently, so we always set a date and a time to meet over facebook, or at our previous date. But saturday night he was very vague about meeting with me again. Then sunday he send me a facebook message but i never answered it cause i tend to let the computer on all day while i'm not in my room. so when i saw his message he was offline. The message said: i'm sorry about yesterday, just trust me a little, i love you and i don't want to lose you. I like you and i want to be with you for a long time. What can i do to make you understand i love you?. Since i didn't answer him cause when i saw the message he wasnt online, he came to my house looking for me. He said he loved me, to forgive him and that he really wanted to keep seeing me. I said yes. But i really think i'm being played, i mean who says i love you after 2 weeks? Is he playing with me?? or am i just being paranoid?? i really like him and i don't know what to do. is he really hiding anything or are my insecurities taking over me ?? I do have feelings for him but it just doesn't feel right to say i love you so soon. please help!

View related questions: cousin, facebook, I love you, insecure, jealous

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

so he told me about saturday night, apparently whe he was on his way home he run itno some friends (girls, he has a lot of female friends) and they insisted on him going with them to a bar. So he went. I don't mind that he has gone out with his friends, but it's always the same, with me he doesn't want to do anything but walk around or have a cup of coffe and with his friends he goes out drinking and partyig all night. Why won't he do those things with me? i mean, i love being with him and i don't mind walking around and having coffee but i feel there's a part of him he just doesn't want to show me. Besides he says he loves me but we almost never have "real" conversations, we just joke around or talk about school or stuff like that, everytime the talk gets a bit personal it's like he pushes me away. I just want to get to know him but he doesn't let me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011):

My bf told me he loved me after about three weeks and i can honestly say that i felt the same, there is no duration of which is suitable to have them feelings, saying that though you will know in time if he truly loves you by the way he treats you etc.

I think maybe you have been hurt before or have experienced trust issues with men maybe growing up, you can't help being insecure but you need to find the root of the problem, Give him the benefit of the doubt and take each day as it comes.

If its really bothering you that much about the message on facebbok just ask him at least you will know where you stand and you will sense if hes lying (face to face is best to see his expression) best of luck i hope you can get through it :)

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