A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf keeps pics on his laptop of his exes. I could understand them being put away in a box or on a hard drive. It makes me feel like they are there to gain easy access to them and makes me feel second best. I have spoke to him and tried to explain. He has deleted some but says hes not getting rid of them all, even though he hasn't got rid of any as they are on a separate hard drive. I honestly do not think he should get rid of them they are his past and i understand that, I just wish they were put away. Hate feeling jealous like this, any advice out there would be welcome.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): OP, I'm with you. Pictures of exes belong in a box in the closet if they're physical photos, or on a CD or removable hard drive if they're digital. I.e., they should be hard to get to. They don't belong in a wallet, a mobile device, or on display anywhere. Your boyfriend should respect your feelings about this.My bf has an ex who owns her own business, and she sends a calendar that includes her picture to all her clients every year. He gets one too, and hangs it up in his kitchen. He doesn't have a single picture of me anywhere downstairs. I happen to know that he thinks she is way prettier than me, and it makes me feel that he'd rather look at her than at me. Yet he had the gall to tell me that the calendar means nothing to him. If that were true, wouldn't he stop putting them up, knowing how much it upsets me?I don't have any advice, just wanted you to know you're not the only one who feels that way.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (25 June 2012):
 I agree with SVC. Unless they are explicit and/ or he had the photos as screensavers or a background montage, I don't think it's a big deal at all. These women meant something to him at different points in his life and he doesn't want to erase the memories. I don't think that you should push him in this one. It's his computer. The exes are not a threat just by existing in photos.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 i have lots of pictures of my ex husband on my hard drive, on my facebook page etc.. they are in folders that i never look at... just because they are on the computer does not mean i'm attached to him... it's like keeping photo albums on the shelf...
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 June 2012):
 How is he with you in the relationship?
Are you happy and does he seem happy with you?
I understand why you feel annoyed about the pictures but he's made it clear he isn't going to put them away. I think he may do it in his own time and you know what men are like, the more you ask, the more they dig in their heels...
Leave it, focus on how your relationship is as a whole and enjoy being together.
There are no guarantees with any relationship but it's vert easy to drive one into the ground by fretting and worrying and nagging...You are his number one, or else he wouldn't be with you so stop worrying xxx
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