A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while ago I caught my long term boyfriend on a transgender dating website, messaging and making plans to meet up with transgender women and men. He was also responding to Craigslist ads and sending them pictures of his private parts. His profile had his photos and his credit card was linked to it to pay for a membership. I confronted him about it and dumped him because he kept denying it. Eventually then he reached out to me and was able to get legit proof that somebody was stealing his photos out of his email account, and accessing his old credit card info and emails in a different state, so I took him back. However, I cant unsee what I saw basically, so now I am constantly paranoid and questioning if it's true or not. I went back to the dating site and there was a profile with his name and info on it again, but with no pictures this time. I'm certain it's him again, but I feel like I should just trust him and let it go. I don't want to bring it up because he's never going to admit it, and will just say he proved it wasn't him so why would I think that of him. However it's eating me up inside, and I constantly snoop around to find out more and it consumes me most days. I feel like I should break up with him but I want to find definite proof if it is him because I really love him and aside from all this he treats me like a queen, is super attracted to me and we have a great relationship and I don't want to lose that. I know everyone has their fetishes, all I want is for him to be honest if he does but at the same time I also want to trust that it's not him... What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2016): Can you set up a profile and see what happens when you interact? Might give you proof but there seems to be a consensus that you already have proof. He is trying to trick you.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (30 August 2016):
 About 99% sure he's lying.
Does he send you these nude images ? If not, why does he have them in the first place ? And how has he coincidentally had photos AND payment details stolen that have been put onto this website?
Not to mention somehow it's happened a second time. Arranging to meet up with someone isn't a fetish, it's cheating.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (30 August 2016):
 Ok. If he claimed in the past he was a victim of someone hacking and stealing his credit card details why not use that knowledge to be the reason you have again checked on the sights so you can bring it to his attention that it is "happening again". Being vigilant to the situation is better than being accused of being a snoop and suggest this time he report it to the police. Like right there and then. If he hesitates or gives you some kind of reluctant B/S I think you have your answer.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 August 2016):
 I'm sorry, you forgave it once with his "proof" but then he is right back at doing it again.
You know, people using someone else pictures CAN'T met up with anyone because they DO NOT look like the pictures so... why even steal them? Why use both dick pics AND his face? It makes no sense.
And now the profile is back, but with out pictures...
Seems just a LITTLE to coincidental to be someone else.
Honestly, I would break up. You aren't able to fully trust him (because the thing is SO sketchy) and without trust... other emotions will fall to the way side as well. You will probably no feel as attracted to him etc.
Why waste any more time on this relationship?It's not working for you. It IS OK to end it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (29 August 2016):
 Transgender people are just people. They are not a fetish. If he views them as such, he's reducing them to their bodies, not the people they are.
Anyway, I think that your gut is telling you that you can't trust him and if you can't get past that, your relationship is already over. OP, I really wouldn't trust him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 August 2016):
 You cannot fix his future or anybody he treats like this, you can look after yourself but that is about it. Listen nobody is going to hack his email and his credit card and make up profiles and use his pictures, and you know it deep down. He is never going to admit it and he will probably make sure he deletes all his history. Sweetie you know you deserve better than this, if he has been meeting people and cheating on you, I would be getting yourself checked for STI's and throwing him out, you deserve better than that, look after yourself. You do not owe him anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe said all of his pictures were imported to this email, and someone had access to it I guess. I feel like deep down he is lying, but I just don't know how to end it. I just want to catch him or him admit it if it's true, because I just wouldn't be satisfied. If he is lying, I can't stand the thought of him being with someone else and still doing this behind their backs without them even knowing anything and me just being this crazy un-trusting girlfriend he had...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (29 August 2016):
How would a stranger have access to pictures of your boyfriend private parts? Am sorry but this story just does not add up. Are you able to check his history? Sweetie am sorry but it sounds like he is lying to you. If you want to continue to be with someone who you cannot trust and torture yourself then that is your choice. I understand that you love him, but you deserve to be happy with someone who you can trust.
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