A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:In the beginning of my relationship my bf used to masterbate and actually have the urge to do so, but we ended up having a problem cause I would want sex later that day that he masturbated so he then had no interst in sex at all and this would kind of hurt me that I could not even be pleased by my own bf because he gave it to his hand earlier. I have never had a problem with a man feeling the need to do so, but most men have never needed to in a relationship with me cause my sex drive is through the roof. My bf now understand this and has stopped masturbating all together and actually seems less sexual and has a hard time being turned on. He does not even know what turns him on and this makes it hard for us. I love him very much, but I just don't understand why his sex drive seems to have died down when he had a somewhat uncontrollable urge to masturbate before and now he does not at all. I assume maybe it is because he realizes his dick does not work later if he does. I just don't understand still why it is so hard for us to have sex he is not that old he is only 29. I feel we should be sex monkeys still and be enjoying all positions and styles. He wont ever agree to giving me oral and this bothers me too. I wont die if I don't get it, were do I to get this kind of urge fixed it's only him I can go too. My over all relationship is good, but the sex is just so low and me being 23 and having a very high sex drive it's hard for me to function sometimes if he does not want sex. I feel our rolls are reversed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): Masturbation can reduce a guy's sensitiveness. Guys who masturbate need some physical stimulation to be turned on. They also find it difficult to ejaculate by feeling the vagina only.Don't worry. Now that he has stopped masturbating he will retain his sensitiveness eventually. Meanwhile, a little bit of help and understanding from your side would be nice. Don't try to push him or blame him.Just give him some time and make sure he won't be tempted to touch himself. Meanwhile you can masturbate to relieve yourself. You can masturbate in front of him (if you like to do so) which is a very arousing show. Or you can have him stimulate you. He will most probably be so impatient to initiate sex with you after doing that.About oral. Remember, some guys need to be a bit turned on to go down on a girl. Do you put a penis in your mouth when you're not turned on? Turn him on first, then guide his mouth where you want it to be, in a very feminine way. And please make sure there is no unpleasant taste or smell down there, or he will never go back there.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2012):
 "i feel like we should be sex monkeys" oh sweetie... not everyone does it all the time.
has he had a medical work up to rule out hormonal medical or emotional problems (depression can affect sex drive)?
do you masturbate? I have a higher drive than my partner and I masturbate because while we do have sex I don't orgasm from our interaction and he won't perform oral.
BUT and this is the saving grace for us... we are very very very affectionate every day. EVERY day. we kiss, we cuddle we hold hands... dinner on the couch together then cuddle time.
He cuddles me when he comes to bed... I cuddle him when I wake up... and we survive with our mismatched drives....
have you talked to him about this?
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