A
female
age
41-50,
*whitney2012
writes:I am having a hard time wiith my bf watching foot fetish videos. He knows that it bothers me but he still seems not to care. I find myself upset and almost jeoulous that videos can turn him on in a way I can't. I am willing to try almost anything to be his focus in this area, but his focus is so strong he will sometimes just ignore me and watch videos. It honestly makes me upset and angry. I try and tell myself it could be worse he could be actual trying to communicate with these people which would be crossing the line. Our relationship seems to be good sexually except when he watchs these videos I don't want him to touch me cause I know these videos turned him on not me. He is a caring and supportive man but lately watching these have become a nightly thing. Am I just over reacting, it just makes me feel like I am not enough for him. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): That's a good clarification. So he doesn't like to treat you as a naughty girl because he fears that he may make you feel degraded. But those damn hormones in his brain won't let him alone and he has to find a way (other than you) to feed his brain.
If you are really "open sexually" and "would like to experiment a bit more in different way", then it might be a good idea to show him what you are capable of. Maybe this will give him the courage to leave the fantasy world and go for the reality (you).
I still can't understand why does he watch the videos in front of you. It's turned into a mystery for me!
Sit with him and watch. Compliment on the girls, but finish your sentence like this: "I'm better than her" with self confidence.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): To me it seems both normal and strange.It's normal because, well, all of us guys like to watch. We watch the girls on the street, magazines, movies, Internet, etc. Even the most innocent looking guys do it. (Now you know our little secret lol)But it's strange because we usually don't try to make our girls uncomfortable/offended/jealous/etc by watching in front of them. As I said, it's our little secret and we'd like to keep it that way. It sounds strange to me why your boy doesn't make any effort to hide it from you.Maybe because he feels comfortable around you, which helps him be descent about his fetish. Or maybe it's exactly the point to make you jealous and competent.I didn't like it when you said "videos can turn him on in a way I can't" and " I am not enough for him"! For god's sake, you are a female. You have feminine powers that can make a mountain melt in front of you. Know yourself better and never never underestimate yourself, and never be insecure.If you want to end this relationship, it's fine, he may not be the one for you. But if you want to keep it, I'm sure you will tame him with your self confidence and feminity,and he will love you the way you want to be loved, eventually.
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A
female
reader, Twhitney2012 +, writes (21 February 2012):
Twhitney2012 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do try and feed his foot fetish. He just seems not to go to far with it as I would let him. I honestly think its just me. He has made a comment before in other sexual situations that he would not do certain things because it would be degrading and he just can't see me that way. I am open sexually and I have expressed that to him and even expressed to him I would like to experiment a bit more in different way. I am not usually one with low self estem but all of this is making me that way and making me feel that sexually he doesn't want me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): You don't say whether you actually feed his food fetish or not. Please clear that up for us.
If you do then you have a right to feel bad about this as it sounds he has an addiction. If you don't then I suggest you should try it because without fulfilling his fetish then you two are just sexually incompatible.
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