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Boyfriend has a girl friend that causes problems

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2010)
A female New Zealand age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My Bf used to flat with two girls when we started going out. One was very clingy and flirty. she was always all over him, and would write on his facebook how much she loved him. She would call him baby and intimate things, and many thought she was his gf, not me. I fell pregnant to him and had a termination due to my circumstances. she bitched about me, and wrote nasty thinsg all over facebook and sent threatening txt messages to me. My bf stood up for me and told her to stop, and then she deleted him out of her life as she didnt want anything to do with me. last week, we broke up for a day, and he ran straight to her. we got back together, but then we had a fight about her, and he ran straight to her. I dont know what to do because i feel so upset and angry when he does this. she makes me feels insecure and inferior to her, and acts like she knows mybf better. I tried making him choose between me or her, and he even told her that. I want her out of our life because it just causes drama. i dont know what to do, because he defennds her and says that she has done nothing wrong. i dont know if a guy can talk to a girl mate about his feelings and relationship, because in my head they will get closer than us, that they will connect more. I dont know what to do or if i am thinking right, someone please help!

View related questions: broke up, facebook, flirt, got back together, insecure

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010):

Thankyou so much for all the advice! Its has helped, and I am planning on talking with him tonight. Thankyou so so much !

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (14 July 2010):

xanthic agony auntDrop him. While he did stand up for you, he's still always going to run back to her. You shouldn't have to worry about that every time you have an argument or take a break from each other for a day.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (14 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntThey are a lot more then "just" friends. I would move on and let her have your "leftovers"...

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A female reader, candycane1 United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2010):

I undertstand exactly how you must feel, let me tell you something, it is completely normal the way that you are feeling, any girl would agree.

Now this girl sounds very clingy and a bit too much, however your boyfriend is in a way allowing for all this to happen. Firstly you are his girlfriend, so whatever you are not happy with he should take into consideration just as you would do the same for him.

All these messages that she posts on facebook are completely inappropriate, and belive me girls love chasing a guy in a relationship.

You need to sit down and talk to him not ARGUE but talk, tell him what bothers you, what this girl is trying to do, also the fact that if you are the one that he needs, then he would not even any other girl. Tell him that these arguments that you both are having is because of her, and so to stop things coming in between you both, she needs to go. Make it clear to him that you should feel safe, secure and stable with him, not how he is currently making you feel. Let me know how it goes.

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