A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have had the same boyfriend for about two years and a half now. We've had our share of problems but we've always been able to manage to get through them. He's from Mexico, and while I'm not Mexican, I speak Spanish, so we communicate just fine.Well, he finally told me about a month ago that he has a child, who's 2 years old, that he never met, who lives in Mexico. According to him, he had sex once with his girlfriend at the time and didn't find out about the pregnancy or child until he was already in America. Now, I can undestand someone not telling the person they're dating for a month or so that they have a child, but for over TWO YEARS? I feel like I can't even trust him anymore, and much worse, I feel for the child...I mean, he speaks so affectionately about his own parents, and I try to explain to him that he NEEDS to go back and be a father. He sends money to the kid, and birthday, Christmas presents and such...and talks to her on the phone sometimes...but that's it. In my opinion, that's not real parenting. And if I was to marry and have kids with this guy, that level of committment would be unacceptable.So I don't know what to do...he's a really great guy...but I don't know if our relationship will ever recover from this. Sure, I never asked if he had a kid, but concealing the truth is equal to lying. I don't know, I just need some advice.
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female
reader, AgonyAuntiee93  +, writes (5 December 2010):
he really should of told you... if it had only been a month it would of been alright but it hadnt. maybe he thought it would hurt you? maybe he was protecting you. there is a lot of possibilitys, talk to him about?
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